Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Been feeling like I made a poor choice

4 replies

Mrsw28 · 01/01/2016 20:37

For the last month - six weeks I've been feeling like I may have made a poor choice in husband. A few things have made me feel like this: he goes to work (I acknowledge he works hard and appreciate that he does so I can be home with DC) but when he comes home he literally wants to do nothing. He doesn't really want to play with DS, he doesn't want to talk or do anything. He's really tired (he stays up too late and gets up very early for work) and he falls asleep almost every day when he comes in from work. He's argumentative and doesn't like being asked to do jobs around the house/garden, he barely helps with anything. His DIY skills are questionable, we recently moved and since then we have had a few jobs that needed doing around the house, he's managed to have to redo most of them because he drilled holes in the wrong place or something. I really am starting to feel like I could do better at the DIY. I'm starting to wonder (dangerous pastime I know) whether I'd even date him now if we were single.

I'm just wondering if anyone else has had phases like this in their marriage/long term relationships?

OP posts:

Report

Mrsw28 · 01/01/2016 20:39

It all sounds silly written down, but I'm feeling quite down about it all.

OP posts:

Report

Marchate · 01/01/2016 20:46

I would love to tell my daughters, men are very quick to drop all household tasks the minute they see they can get off with them

I guess, in retrospect, we gave them 'permission' at some point and they reinterpreted that as a lifetime let-out clause

Report

Hassled · 01/01/2016 20:47

It doesn't sound silly at all :)

Do you get to spend any quality time alone together - a meal out, that sort of thing? Most couples have blips along the way - what's helped me is taking the time to remember what we liked about each other in the first place, and that means getting a babysitter and going out and having a laugh together. And then the annoying little habits seem copeable with, rather than building up into a massive deal. But having said all that, sometimes people just fall out of love.

Re the DIY - my DH is rubbish at it and I do it all. I watch Youtube videos to work out what to do. It's strangely satisfying.

Report

Mrsw28 · 01/01/2016 20:55

We get no time at all just the two of us. We have DS (just turned 2) and 3 month old DD. I breastfeed and don't like to leave the DC with many people ( I accept that's my choice and know that makes it harder for us to go out etc).

I do love him, he's not a bad person. He's just so tired ALL the time and that makes him grumpy and antisocial. We've talked about him dropping a day at work in the new year/now, he currently works six days a week.

I don't think it helps that I have no time for myself at all, I feel like a shadow of my former self.