Been together 17 years -since were 19 - have 2 DCs.
We get on sometimes very well but also fight all the time. If you listen to DH he would tell you it's all my fault.
He says I don't pay enough attention to him or show I care about him. I agreed this is true. The reason is that I am always so tired I just collapse in to bed at the end of the day.
He also says I nag. Maybe I do.
One DC has some special needs and needs a lot of extra help. So I work full time, come home and work with DC2 plus make dinner, do housework and homework etc. DH works late so I do it all myself and it is hard going.
When I do get a day off I might spend some time resting - a few hours -but I always sense DH silently fuming as he goes about cleaning - that i have dared to stop working.
DH pulls his weight around the house. He easily does more than 50% of the housework - but I do all the extra work with DC2 and that takes up a huge amount of time.
DH constantly implies I don't pull my weight around the house - and ignores me when i list off all the things I actually do.
Last night I went downstairs to the living room to watch TV with him and he was doing the ironing - complaining because the ironing basket was full. I said I did do housework yesterday but took it a bit easy as it was Boxing Day - and I'd done all the work with DC2. He was fuming.
What can I do. I'm stuck here. We fight all the time. I'm prepared to acknowledge I contribute in some ways to us not getting on - but he always says I'm the one who causes everything.
On Christmas Eve I was very mildly grumpy in the morning. But then we went out and had a lovely day shopping and went for pizza. We were getting on all day - having a laugh -both very happy - except for a very short spell early on Christmas Eve. On Christmas night DH started saying i ruined the day by being grumpy all the time. When I reminded him we actually had a lovely day overall he said nothing. I fell asleep and he got the kids Santa presents and wrapped all of them and didn't wake me to include me. He knew I would want to be included. He was really angry saying it was because i'd ruined Christmas Eve.
I really don't think I am deluded. I'm not perfect - sometimes I'm grumpy and I nag - but overall I'm actually nice enough. If I though I was a total bitch I could understand DH being so angry.
Now I feel like just staying away from DH - but how can I when we live in the one house.
Last night he told me to stay away from him. So this morning I am
staying away from him but I'm upset. He came in to the room and said do I want to go to the shops. I said no. Because I've rejected his olive branch he's back to feeling superior. I just feel like this is a never ending cycle of arguing - what's the point in going shopping today and ending up fighting later
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Relationships
DH always says all fights are my fault
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PagesOfABook · 27/12/2015 14:30
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