I feel exactly the same Dingit. We've become just like housemates. We're just basically co-habiting and living seperate lives . He's the type that never ever talks about his feelings to anyone, let alone me. Whereas I can talk to close friends about the situation and I've tackled him about it but I get sick of being the one making the effort to talk all the time and nothing ever changes.
We've only been married 5yrs but it's like we've nothing to say to one another anymore. It's only my young daughter keeping us together I think. He's so detached and like a bloody monosyllabic robot when I try to have a chat! Bloody tedious now tbh. So you're not alone by any means. Frustrating as hell isn't it?
Sorry he's making you feel like this OP. It is of course an extra busy time atm for social occasions and things, do you have anything planned to cheer you up? Is there any chance you can get a babysitter and have an evening out together before Christmas? Being out of the house and alone together might give you the chance to talk about things in a neutral environment, rather than when you are seething after he's left you at home with your children again.
Hope you feel better soon and that you say something to him about this before it truly becomes a huge problem. I've been there btw and it was horrible but after lots of rows and compromise we are much happier now.
My dc are teens, I don't really need a nanny. We've been married 22 years, together for nearly 30. He's home now, dd texted him to say I was pissed. It hasn't really made me feel that much better to be honest, he obviously felt guilty, now I feel guilty as he's cancelled his arrangements.