I have a friend who can be a bit flaky, typically if I try and get in touch she will take AGES to reply and sometimes not even reply at all. It pisses me off big time, so much so that i kind of stopped bothering a while back and we went quite a few months without seeing each other....but she is an old friend, and has been at times, a good friend.
So we did end up seeing each other again, and went out for a coffee and then more recently I went to her daughter's birthday party (as our kids are similar ages) and we were getting on well so i invited her to come for dinner over xmas.
I texted her to see if she was free on a certain date and she replied saying she wasn't sure what she was doing and would get back to me. Then didn't get back to me.
Then I thought I'd turn it into a mince pie/wine/invite everyone we know kind of thing, and asked her again when she was free and said we could be flexible on dates.
Still no reply a few days later and my blood was boiling by now as I just find it so rude, and disrespectful, as we have invited them over and she can't even be bothered to let me know.
So I sent a message trying not to be too arsey, saying 'we're just going to put a date out there and invite people, if you can't come we'll catch up another time, can't my life on hold waiting for you to reply!'
Then she messages saying that I'm being 'guilt trippy' and having a go at me making ME feel like the bad guy, and that she couldn't reply because they were away and not sure what they were doing etc etc but has now given me a date, although it all feels a bit tainted now.
I replied saying I didn't want to feel like i was hassling her, and couldn't understand why she couldn't see how frustrating it was for me, and it shouldn't be this difficult?
It is literally like this every time with this friend, to the point where I honestly don't know why I bother. It just feels like I'm begging her to respond to MY invitation to HER - and if that's the way it is, I'm seriously beginning to question whether it is worth trying to maintain the friendship.
Apart from this one, big, thing we get on quite well. But she makes me feel so unimportant and insignificant when she ignores my messages or attempts to meet up - and there's nothing worse than feeling insignificant or ignored.
So was I wrong to say something, or was she - or are we both wrong and therefore shouldn't be friends anymore?
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So who was being out of order?
7 replies
maggiethemagpie · 14/12/2015 17:41
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