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Do you think that it is actually possible to die of a broken heart?

(18 Posts)
MyFuture Mon 14-Dec-15 15:55:57

More than a month now since i know about him and her and it hurts like the fist minute.

I always knew he was going to break my heart and now that happened / is happening I am not eating, not sleeping, not taking care of myself. I have been no contact for the last 3 weeks, thinking it will help but it is not.

Do you think that it is actually possible to die of a broken heart? you know, like when you give up about life and simply sink more and more until you disappear? Because this is how it feels at the moment.

Apologies, I am not making a lot of sense and it sounds a lot more dramatic that I intended it to sound but I have to consciously and constantly remind myself that it will get better becasue at the moment everything is just dark and painful

Cabrinha Mon 14-Dec-15 16:04:40

If it was possibly to die from a broken heart, you'd nip along to your GP and say "I've just split up, I need help". You wouldn't just 'accept it'.

No, you can't die from a broken heart.
You can become very unwell from depression and / or unhealthy thought patterns and behaviour though.
So for those - go and see your GP.

Your comment that you always knew he'd break your heart suggests that as well as immediate help, you either need help to not be attracted to arses, or to dramatic situations, or you need help with how you feel about yourself.

He's not worth sinking away over, he's really not. Go chat to your GP.

Shodan Mon 14-Dec-15 16:10:44

I'm not great at advice, but I couldn't bear to let you go unanswered, because I've been where you are now.

Sometimes, I think you just have to accept that 'life' is shit, and is probably going to be shit for a while yet-and allow yourself to feel it. Give yourself 'wallow time'.

At the same time though, remember that you're still here. You may not be sleeping, or eating properly (or at all)-but you're still battling on. A month is really a very short space of time (although I know it feels longer, especially when you can't even escape into sleep).

You're still able to put together a well-written post. That's an achievement, given how you feel. Even the tiniest achievement is worth hanging onto, because it shows your fighting spirit.

I don't know if it will help-but I came out the other side of my dark time. Not all at once-there weren't sudden bursts of joy and laughter, but one day I realised that I'd smiled at something, and it helped. It gave me a little bit of hope.

I'd say you're stronger than you realise, and you will emerge triumphant, even though you can't envisage that just now.

Treat yourself with kindness and you will survive.

flowers

floatinglight Mon 14-Dec-15 16:56:00

Been there, it feels so very real and seemed like an eternity back then. But its normal to feel down when it just happened. You won't die from heart break technically. What you do from now, will determine your path. Appreciate the good times, learn from the bad times and try to move on, one day at a time.

I felt very down for a few months and at some point got fed up of my own attitude and started making some changes and it does get easier with time. Letting go is difficult but you need to pull yourself together for your own sake. Few years down the line I think partners are one part of life, very important may be but not my reason for existence. Don't waste it like that, you have stuff to do smile

Supermanspants Mon 14-Dec-15 17:19:32

Oh god I've been where you are.
I cringe when I think how I fucked up I was after we broke up.
It was a hideous out-of-the-blue break up.
It really does get easier. You will reach a point where you will not think about him the moment you wake up or while you are trying to sleep.

RedMapleLeaf Mon 14-Dec-15 17:32:44

I think that it is possible.

Three weeks in and still feeling like day zero? I think it's time to talk to your doctor.

IamlovedbyG Mon 14-Dec-15 17:48:41

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Jenna3333 Mon 14-Dec-15 18:00:49

No you won't however awful you feel now. I was really really low after breaking up with one guy. I was so low I phoned the Samaritans who were absolutely fabulous with me. It had come after a series of other events and I didn't know how to carry on. I slowly got better and one day it just clicked I realised how much better off without him I was and I've never looked back. You'll be so much stronger for this, hang in there. You're making way for someone better.

minmooch Mon 14-Dec-15 18:42:02

No you won't. I'm afraid there are worse things that happen and we survive them.

Accept you will feel shit for a while, give yourself time.

Mermaidhair1 Mon 14-Dec-15 18:51:58

When I knew my dh was terminal I really thought that when he died, I would drop dead immediately.
I'm still here.
I have dc to live for.
Break ups hurt, but you need to decide to pick yourself up and move on.
I've never heard of anyone dying from a broken heart after a breakup.
Do you think you may be depressed?

BMW6 Mon 14-Dec-15 20:37:09

Have been where you are several times. Once so bad I tried to kill myself rather than endure the unendurable pain.

Heartbreak itself will not kill you - but the old adage that Time heals is totally true. I promise you that in a years time you will not feel this pain. You may always grieve for the loss, but the pain you feel now cannot maintain the intensity.

If someone hurts you in the future, remember that the pain fades (sometimes to actual indifference to the Ex, which is marvellous)

lighteningirl Mon 14-Dec-15 20:46:34

I think heartbreak is a physical pain and yes it feels possible that you will die. I thought I would but I didn't and as others have said you won't you will get over this just take it a day/an hour at a time I promise you it will get better

Justaboy Mon 14-Dec-15 21:07:13

No I don't think you can die of a broken heart. The emotional upset can do it sometimes like me when i was much younger and was dumped by the girl i adored. I came that close to smashing the car into a bridge support that i can't now believe i did such a thing over her. Course now, and now that I know shes been married and divorced Three times and is on her way to number four poor the sod, perhaps it was for the best:-)

Sorry but give it time and then you'll realise what a pratt he was to have treated you the way he did and you'll see it in a totally different light!

Promise!

FreckledLeopard Mon 14-Dec-15 22:03:00

I've been wondering the same thing. I'm also three weeks in and it's a living hell. I've lost almost a stone, cry every day and cannot fathom how things will move forwards. I started on antidepressants and they've begun to kick in slightly. I'm not as suicidal as I was a week ago.

But I'm utterly broken and everything is so, so bleak. Can't offer any advice but you're not alone.

Justaboy Mon 14-Dec-15 22:45:53

FreckledLeopard Well things do move on and do get better takes a little time and you'll see it differently its only human to feel like it but trust me if you will please I've had it happen more than the once and I'm still heresmile

And probably much happier these days!

janaus Mon 14-Dec-15 23:34:18

When it happened to me, I went to GP right away, got anti depressants and anxiety medication, it helped me not feel so emotional, and able to deal with things a bit better. I hope things go ok for you, it will take a long time. I have lost 2 stone, so thats a bonus for me.

littlemermaid80 Mon 14-Dec-15 23:47:35

OP I've been where you are.
It hurts like nothing before doesn't it.

I promise you the pain will fade in time. I promise you will not die.
I promise you will realize in time you've had a lucky escape.

Please surround yourself with loved ones and keep busy as much as possible.

Hugs...

thiskiwicanfly Mon 14-Dec-15 23:51:48

You can't die of a broken heart but sometimes it feels like you wish you could. I know how that feels - going through it at the moment. The pain can be physical. Not eating, not sleeping and feeling like life will never be good again. But I have a child to be there for, and a job that I'm good at and life just has to go on.

I'm sure that over the next weeks and months we will both slowly come to realise that this too has passed.

But I am so with you at the moment OP. So with you.

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