I don't know if this is the right section to post this. Please, advice me if it is not.
Husband and I have talked several times about enrolling our DS in swimming and music/dance lessons. I found an activity in our community center yesterday and sent him a message telling about it and asking if weekends were better since toddlers need to be accompanied by an adult in the pool (we also have a baby, so one of us would need to stay with the baby and the other go to the pool). He didn't answer (but he read, it was a whatsapp message and kept talking about other things), so I just registered. These program is free and there is only 10 spots, so they fly.
I remembered tonight and brought it up: "the swimming lessons are Saturdays at 11, starting blablabla). He asked me if I was going to take our DS and I said that I would happily do so, but we could share if he wanted to.
We are separating but still living in the same house. We don't have a visitation schedule in place yet, but I said that in the future, the activities will fall in his time as well, so we will need to discuss. He said that DS will be skipping everything when in his care since he plans to stay overnight at his parents (300 km one way).
I am upset about that. Activities are usually 6 to 8 weeks long, and he would presumably have DS every second weekend. So basically I see that I can't enroll him in any program that runs weekly. I understand that I can't decide what he does in his time sharing, but I don't think this is reasonable or in the best interest of our DS. By the way he said that it would be better during the week, a day that he is always with me. DS finishes school at 6, has dinner and goes to bed at 8.30.
So how do you make it work? AIBU wanting my son to go to some activity even if it falls 50% in my Husband's time? Do I need to find something that happens only in my time? Relevant: my husband was happy with swimming before and he wants a 50/50 shared parenting time.
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Relationships
Kids activities after separation
7 replies
torontonian · 09/12/2015 01:17
OP posts:
whatyouseeiswhatyouget ·
09/12/2015 13:42
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