About two months ago I told my husband that I wasn't sure I loved him anymore. We have 3 dc and have been married for 15 years. The trouble was I have a mad crush another bloke which just blew me away. He saw my texts to my friend saying my feelings and he went mad I don't fancy my husband anymore and we haven't had sex for a year. We both work full time and just spend the evenings watching TV and not talking to each other.
Since I told my husband things have exploded. He phoned my work accusing the man of having an affair with me. He also called the police after we had a scuffle in front of the kids. He has told the children I am breaking up the family.
He is moving out tomorrow and has spent today saying I love you and I will always love you. I am sad I am breaking up the family but surely the lack of love is partially his fault also? I found myself wantinh to be at work rather than at home with him and the kids. I still like the guy at work but that is going nowhere. He is flirting with a 23 year old intern and not bothered at all about the 16 year age gap. She leaves in the summer though and there is still some semblance of hope that we may work it out. I am going out to a local carnival with him next weekend with some other folks and the kids. He hasn't invites the 23 year old but he does spend all his time with her at work and ignores the friendship we used to have. He knows all about my situation so I am pretty sure he is staying away.
So what I am struggling with is how inappropriately both my husband and I have dealt with this situation - whether I should make it work and beg him to stay or should I just see how it feels to be alone .we fight in front of our kids a lot . I feel guilty that he is going to a flat share but he will be back to look after the kids in the week. I also need to get to terms with this feeling for the guy at work which has been going on for about 6 months now. It is heartbreaking to see him with this young girl when he used to be friends with me. My head says if I feel so strongly about someone else than it probably isn't right to be with my husband as we continually fight. I know I am probably just trying to fill a void for my grief for what could have been. My husband has done all the action so far- opened separate bank accounts, transferred the debt, called the police, announced our separation on facebook. And yet today, the day before he leaves, he says he will always love me.
It's so difficult when neither of us have had an affair, just grown apart and not looked after our marriage. And now I don't feel any spark for him ( it makes me cringe when he touches me) I feel it is too late.
will I feel responsible for destroying my children's family for the rest of my life?
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Cracking at the last minute
7 replies
mrsrabbitsays · 15/11/2015 11:12
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