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Annoyed about money

(6 Posts)
differentviewpoint Sat 14-Nov-15 14:14:01

Hiya, my partner and I have been together for 10 years. I am a sahm and he works in a job he hates. We have money to cover essentials and occasional days out but not general holidays, etc. We have lived in our current, rented home for a year and are decorating/furnishing as we go along. Obviously our sons room was the first room we decorated and furnished and the whole house has been done with help from my mum and dad, except for our bedroom which is still the only room without a curtain pole and curtains etc. Partner has just received a couple of hundred pounds inherence from a relative he has never heard of. Since we have always had a list of things we will buy/sort as we have money I told him that it was his money and he could spend it on what he wanted. I was thinking he would buy some big things he wanted for himself, then maybe some stuff for the house or some stuff for Christmas for his son, but no. He has spent it all on himself leaving nothing for anything else.

I'm torn between thinking well its his money he can spend it how he likes to thinking wow what a selfish cunt he couldn't even spend some on the house or child like I would. Perspectives please

QuiteLikely5 Sat 14-Nov-15 14:19:11

I think your last paragraph sums it up.

He can spend it how he likes but in doing so he was selfish.

It would have been great if he had shown some consideration to you or even bought his son a toy..............

Out of interest what did he spend it all on?

lalalonglegs Sat 14-Nov-15 14:21:09

Yes, that is selfish but, in mitigation, you did say he could spend it on what he wanted to. Is there any chance you could work PT so there is a little extra spending money?

miaowroar Sat 14-Nov-15 14:21:13

Well you did say he could spend it on himself, so officially I suppose he thinks you have no comeback. However I think it speaks volumes about his priorities that he spent nothing on his own child. You gave him a free choice, so he chose to be selfish.

It's unlikely this situation will arise again in exactly the same way - but now you are forewarned. If he ever has access to any more money, you need to suggest he spends at least part of it in a non-selfish kind of way.

If I were you (which I'm not - you're probably more patient) I would have to let him know that I thought his choices were selfish.

I wouldn't be buying him anything big for Christmas that's for sure.

differentviewpoint Sat 14-Nov-15 14:27:40

Thank you both for your replies,

Quitelikely, thank u, that's exactly how I feel, he spent it all on stuff for his hobby.

Lala thanks also, it is what I said, you're right, I just am stunned how selfish he is unfortunately. Also, me being a sahm wouldn't make a difference to our finances, I was just trying not to drip feed that we do not have extra finances often.

differentviewpoint Sat 14-Nov-15 14:32:44

Thanks miaowroar, see what I think is I told him to spend it how he wanted not to spend it on himself but that's what he chose to do, which is why I think I'm annoyed (at myself and him). I will be talking to him about it to tell him how I feel but wanted to see how others felt about the situation. And I will definitely be dealing with any future situations like this differently.

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