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should I stay or should I go

(4 Posts)
Onedayinmay Wed 11-Nov-15 11:41:46

I have been with my husband for 25 years we have 3 children together age 20 17 and 11 we have always had a very volatile relationship. I am coming to the end of my tether. He does not care for me does not seem bothered about me I am just there to cook clean and give him sex. Today I have phoned in work sick because I cannot cope anymore, I am lay in bed and very fed up. This is how it goes on a regular basis. Friday he was extra nice to me because he wanted sex (or that is how I see it) Saturday he works on his laptop all day. Sunday I had lots to do, cleaning cooking shopping ect, I was also trying to decorate my 17 year olds room, Husband just sat again watching sport with his laptop on his knee complaining of gout in his toe. I asked him to do a little job for me while he was sitting watching football, he refused in case it spilt on his laptop!!, or meant him missing sport, so I asked him to fold clothes from the dryer ( no need to move with his sore toe) again he refused. I lost my temper saying I just needed a bit of support from him, he went on to shout and call me names like fatty this fatty that, all in the hearing range of 11 year old who took to the floor and got upset, and the 17 year old and his girlfriend. Sunday night I told him I had had enough and wanted to talk about ending this marriage but we cannot talk without it tuning nasty. So since Sunday he has not spoke to me not one word it is torture. He works 5 days a week but also tries to keep his own online business going too, so really works 7 days and most nights. I have tried talking to him about this but he does not listen and says we need the money!! I go out to work 5 days but only part time. This seems trivial but when this is how your life is day in day out it gets really depressing. He uses any little thing that I have ever told him to throw right back at me. BUT I have had enough!! My sister lives 50 miles away and I am considering going to live with her, I would take my 11 year old, he would go to the high school where she works.
I am scared for him and me. Do I make this big decision or do I shut up and put up with my crap live with my husband as I have always done. I am not being fair to my 11 year old expecting him to move schools.

redannie118 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:00:23

Hi op
trust me as someone who grew up in home where my parents rowed constantly you are doing your child a lot more damage by staying than going. Please leave now and be happyflowers

Jan45 Wed 11-Nov-15 14:11:50

Go and go now, he calls you fatty, wtaf - please salvage our self respect and get away from him, there's no love there.

Last chance for you to have the life you want.

ILiveAtTheBeach Wed 11-Nov-15 16:42:27

Surely your 11 year old is going to move up to High School next summer? If so that's a perfect time to move locations. Obviously he'll want to go to the same High School as his pals, but he will be fine. I got sent to a different High School than my Primary school pals and it was fine. I can't believe he called you fatty! In the past I put on a few stone, and my DH never once mentioned it.

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