I've decided to leave my husband because we aren't romantically interested in each other any more. We've slept in separate beds for a fews years and only had sex a handful of times this year. I don't fancy him at all. He doesn't listen to me when I speak and shuts me down verbally by interrupting, talking over me or sometimes just telling me to end the conversation because it's not interesting to him. He's not a confidant or a companion and there are colleagues I have who I feel closer to and tell more personal things than him. I'm 33 and I want to feel passion again with someone. He says I am being selfish because have a 1.5 year old DD. He thinks I have a duty to stay in the marriage so she can have a stable upbringing, and says passion only ever lasts a few months in any relationship and then inevitably dies down. I can't imagine how he can be happy either, but he wants to cling on to the family unit that we have. He was shocked when I told him I wanted us to separate and said it had come out of the blue - testament to how little he listens to me because I had warned him over and over. The plot thickens because I've recently met a guy who I've deeply connected with and wildly attracted to. It was one of those meetings where you feel like you've known them forever. I'm wracked with guilt for letting it happen. I swing from feeling elated and alive in his company to feeling incredibly low and almost sick when I reflect on what I have done / am doing before DH has even left our flat. Irregardless of him and whether we get together after DH moves out, I want out of the marriage because it offers me nothing. There is no companionship, we argue and bicker constantly and I am tired. Should I just lay in the bed I made and stay? Am I being silly and selfish creating all this hurt and upheaval? How damaging will it be for DD to have co parents as opposed to us living together? I don't agree with him that she will be worse off, because she's currently listening to us argue and disrespect each other all the time. There is so much more to this and have rambled, but I suppose I'm asking if there is anyone out there who has been through this and made it work. We agreed to do 50 / 50 custody and live really close. Money will be very tricky - I'm a contractor on a decent day rate, but DDs nursery fees are 1.5k a month and rent is 1.4k a month, so I will be left with nothing when all the bills come out - am I eligible for any help?
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