I've name changed although I'm not a usual poster I've posted a lot in the pregnancy boards. I don't know where to begin or how to explain. Me and Dp have been together for nearly 2 years now. Our relationship has developed really fast. I met him at 18 (now 20) in my first year at university and he was 27 (now 29) in his final year. Near the end of my first year I became pregnant and we moved in together and had a baby in january. I'm now in my third year at uni and he's working full time and we're recently engaged. I've thought about posting on here for awhile now but thought maybe I was being slightly over dramatic to think I was being abused. I guess I have a very warped view of relationships. No father in my life and my mum is an abusive drug addict. My sister in a very obviously abusive relationship too. When I write my life down on paper it sounds a lot worse than it is. I'm a very happy confident woman and have no obvious issues caused by my upbringing except for my relationships with men. I'm stereotypical in the sense I'm always attracted to older men for example.
But to not to make this post pages and pages long I'll just describe his behaviour and our relationship. He has a very bad temper. Even from when we were first together he would often shout at me over silly things. When I was pregnant and first at home with my newborn baby he would come home from work in massive rages and shout at me if the house was a mess and call me stupid and lazy and tell me all i do is sit on my arse all day. Of course when I'd start crying after saying I was putting on the water works he'd calm down and come apologising and tell me how much he loves me. The shouting I could deal with but the most recent event that sticks with me is when he was cooking sunday dinner a couple weeks ago and I went to the shop with his sister for a few vegetables he needed. I forgot the oxo cubes and he went mental shouting. I shut the kitchen door on him to not hear the shouting and he threw the knife at the door. Everytime I see the whole in the kitchen door I'm reminded of it. He's never hit me or grabbed me but when he's angry its like he's another person he'll call me names like stupid bitch and shout at me around our baby. If I say I'm leaving and want to stay at a friends he won't let me take our baby so I can't go. He's always so apologetic and lovely. Even typing this I feel I've made him sound worse than he is. Even with all this he is not a horrible man or person I just truly believe he needs help or counselling or anger management.
Sorry for this being so long I just need help as to what to do. His temper is wearing me down lately. I told him last night in bed I struggle to live with him and he got upset. He says he's trying to change and he knows his behaviours not acceptable but the changes are very small. Can an angry person just ever stop being angry? The thing is he was in a relationship for 8 years before me and from what I've heard from friends and family she was the controlling one. I've laid in bed all morning crying. Any advice would be helpful
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Is this abuse?
25 replies
confusedmum123 · 19/10/2015 10:49
OP posts:
0dfod ·
19/10/2015 10:54
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
0dfod ·
19/10/2015 13:10
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
0dfod ·
19/10/2015 13:11
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.