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So now she's pregnant...

(7 Posts)
Alchemist Sat 19-Sep-15 22:59:20

EH (not quite two years) told me by text that "we are pregnant".

I saw EH this morning when he pciked up DC. Said nowt.

Received text then DC phoned to tell me how excited they are for a new brother or sister.

I think I have been as accommodating as possible after finding out etc etc. but this hs just floored me. Just very, very hurt.

goddessofsmallthings Sat 19-Sep-15 23:02:40

Why are you feeling hurt? Is the other half of the 'we' the ow he ran off with?

Alchemist Sat 19-Sep-15 23:05:59


wannaBe Sat 19-Sep-15 23:16:52

"we're pregnant," for that statement alone you are well rid. grin

Feeling upset is natural, not only because of history but because of the fact that your dc are going to have a sibling which you are not a part of. It's ok to feel upset, but equally your life has presumably moved on now, would you really want him back after he left you for ow?

When my xh text me to tell me his gf was pregnant I was utterly thrown by it, not because I envied her but because we had tried for a baby for six years and been unsuccessful, and xh had been told that he was the one with the issue, so I felt like he had text me to be smug given he had managed to conceive a baby with someone else. He then went on to tell our ds that we had tried for a baby for years and been unable to have one... But now I really could care less, although my split wasn't the same as yours, but really, I look at xh and think he is in his 40's and will be in his 60's before his baby leaves school and I wouldn't want that for myself.

Unlike your dc though my ds really isn't happy about it. he has been an only child for the past thirteen years and this is going to change his world. I imagine his feelings will change once the baby is here but I've found myself talking up the fact he will have a sibling...

goddessofsmallthings Sat 19-Sep-15 23:44:54

You have to get past the image of 'happy families' that this type of news conveys and see that it's unlikely he'll be any more of a partner to her than he was with you.

Without knowing the backstory, while it may appear to be rosy for him/them at the moment chances are it won't last and he'll move on to yet another woman.

Breaking the news by text and then getting the dc to phone you suggests that he's an insensitive dickhead and that, in itself, doesn't bode well for any woman who's misguided enough to believe his hype.

What is he like as an ex? How many dc do you have? Does he have regular contact with them and pay maintenance etc?

goddessofsmallthings Sat 19-Sep-15 23:57:49

Has he married the ow or is there a wedding in the offing at which your dc will be expected to be bridesmaids/pageboys? If not, this could be the next glad tidings you receive by text with supposedly impromptu call from the dc about how excited they are.

What a twat to put his dc up to that - as if they couldn't wait until they got home to tell you that they were going to be displaced in order of rank by another fruit of his loins.

Men like him should have a compulsory knot tied in it.

I can't imagine that a 13yo boy will be volunteering to change his half-sibling's nappies, wannaBe. In any event, he's not far off wanting to spend his weekends partying with his mates and, if his df doesn't play the new arrival game exactly right, that time could come sooner rather than later.

Alchemist Sun 20-Sep-15 14:44:08

Sorry, was a bit drunk and sorry for myself last night.

I think "Happy family" scene is what got to me last night but am a bit more level headed today.

I honestly would not like to be with him but it just really hit me last night. Thank you for replying. not thinking about bridesmaid/page boy horrors

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