I believe he is mentally unstable and she is not safe to stay there with her two children. He has been verbally and emotionally abused her and she has so little self esteem. She wants to leave but doesn't want to stay in a refuge or a safe house with a young baby and her dc. She has no money for a deposit for a rental and is on the lowest band for housing because she is still living with him and is classed as a non urgent case.
She briefly moved out and stayed with parents but it was cramped and very difficult as her ds has behavioural and anger issues probably picked up by his dad's behaviour. After 2months they couldn't cope so she had to move back home. There were also issues with her getting her ds to school as she doesn't drive and he is in his last year of primary school. Which meant her h was having dc most of the time so he could attend the same school.
He is threatening custody of the kids, threatening to take her for half the tax credits etc so she cannot afford to move out. She is only claiming tax credits which he was previously claiming and child benefit. He is telling her she needs to pay half the rent, for her own food etc. He tells her she is fat and ugly and no one will want to be with her. Buys the kids presents saying it is just from him knowing too well she has little money. They have a young baby who he constantly takes out so she spends little time with her.
That is a small part of it. Previous to that he has grabbed her by the throat and pulled her hair because the neighbours dog was barking and he wanted her to ring the land lord and she didn't do straight away!!!
She called the police and was diagnosed with depression. He has been unemployed for 5 years and his behaviour has worsened since then. He also grabbed her once because she broke the fridge door. Locked her out of the house in the rain, drove off leaving her miles away from home. He has an obsession with cleaning and germs, collecting toys spending ££££ each week and extreme dieting and exercising. He told my df he wants to stab the neighbour and his dog. He hates her family and wants to smash her dads car up. She is living with this every day .
The problem is she has no where to go and no money as she is in lots of credit card debt because he always controlled the money. Her son has anger and behavioural issues so staying in a b&b or refuge would be no be good. She wants him to finish his final year in primary. She has spoke to domestic advice and they wrote a letter to the council and offered a support group. But the letter has made no impact on her housing status. Surely this cannot be right???
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My friend wants to leave her emotionally and physically abusive husband but she has no money or support....
11 replies
Dickorydockwhatthe · 18/09/2015 22:41
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