Feeling very weakened by this. Both of us are but DP being quietly philosophical. Advice gratefully received.
DP had a one night stand years ago which conceived DSS. Mother of DSS was unknown, in that she is local and shares many of the same indirect friends, but they didn't know each other as acquaintances or anything. They just met that night.
DP learnt he was the father fairly late on as DSS' mother thought another man was the father, who paid maintenance and had a peripheral role. we are not clear what happened but she then contacted DP and another man to say that she thought they were potentially the father. DP Tested first and the test was positive.
We had been going out for a little while, over a year, when this all happened. bit of a bombshell but that's life! He started to visit DSS and pay maintenance. Visits were difficult as arrangements being changed last minute etc.
Now things are a bit more settled. Visits are now EOW as agreed with DSS mum as he is still little and it is very strange for him having a new father figure in his life. It's taking time for him to adjust.
The difficulty lies with rumours that are circulating that neither of us can get to the bottom of. at various functions like birthdays, pub etc DP has been approached by people who he knows and who know DSS mum to say that they are appalled at what a bad father he is being, not paying his way, not having enough of a role. I'm using less colourful language than was actually used.
It's now becoming a pattern and I'm getting paranoid. I am almost at the end of my tether as I don't see where or why these comments are being made. DP has been very private about everything and so doesn't sort of respond at all when things are said. Just that he is doing his best and there seems to be a misunderstanding.
What do we do. How do we tackle it? Learning he has a DS was very difficult emotionally itself but all of this drama is making things incredibly sad and frustrating. DP has almost stopped socialising with anyone other than close friends as a result. Do we just ignore and be peaceful at the fact that we are doing ok and our best as a unit?
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People attacking DP for role he is playing in DSS' life
13 replies
stargazing2015 · 08/09/2015 20:51
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