A very close friend as direct me to this site. so be gentle with me because im a newbie.
so why am i here!!!!! yes its man, please get yourselfs a cup of coffee because im really going to spill alll.
ok here goes. Almost 2 years ago i meet the most amazing man,to say he ticked every box is an unstatment.i had been single for two years, and he had just become single.within a few weeks of being together i knew we would have some difficult times ahead for a number of reasons. 1 he lives with his mum,2 his kids,and 3 he has very little time.I accepted this as i felt and feel its not forever.
As time went on and we were discovering each other.he told me he liked to cross dress.id like to add at this point i am a online cam girl and have work for years on chatlines.(the phone chat i have done for over 10 years and was something i told him withinthe first week, and he was totally cool with it, web camming come along a few mths later and before i decided to do anything i spoke too him again he was understanding and cool with it.
so back too it, because of what i do i feel i have a greater unstanding of kinks and fetishes, he told me thats all it was.so has time when on we share so beauitful times together. then one night he was out with the boys having a curry,and i was at home,and i kept hearing this beeping noise
it was his tablet. he had left it on the bedside table . so i looked on it saw he has been sex txting an ex, so i sent a txt basically saying what i had found.
few days later we talk and sort things out. great we are back on track, i feel.
few months pass and i cant believe how lucky i am. this person gets me, understand me makes me feel so complete.
then i discover he is on a fetish site. again we have it out,he tells me he dont need that what we do is enough for him. so he deletes the account
and again i try to put it behind us.
then the start of 2015 and again i find out he has reactivated this fetish site again. we have it out, ive told ive not problems you being on there i just want you to be honest about it. i dont want secrets. so after yet anothe fall out and me trying hard to sort us yet again. he gives me his password.i log into it and im not shocked by anything, but what i see makes me qestion so many things about us.
then dont ask me why. but i use same details and i gain access to a social media account. what i saw on there totally floored me.there was sex messages, but what hurt more was the messages he was sending to one female, who isnt in the country, who is married, these messages were more of love. to say i was heart broken is and understatment.
so i forwarded what i had seen too him, and his reply is they was just words.
i really am at a point where i dont know what to do anymore. because we dont want to be without each other. but how can we go forward. after talking with him in detail of how i feel. i get the feeling he is addicted to what he is doing. i dont feel he has cheated, as in actually done IT.
and he has said a number of times he is lost. what do i do. I just cant walk away from this man .
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12 replies
josie4272 · 04/08/2015 13:31
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