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(11 Posts)
Jojobinx84 Fri 24-Jul-15 21:25:51

Hi. I'm Jo and I'm 37 weeks pregnant.
I'm not sure if I'm being overemotional or not but my husband has really made me doubt whether I'm in this as a partnership or not.
He was away last week on a boating holiday with our two children which he arrived back from last night. Today we had a scan and were told our expected child isn't growing at the expected rate so I've been handed over to a specialist to monitor her growth. Felt crap about that all day on top of very strong hicks and some spotting. Yet he still went away for the weekend to Spain and won't be back until Tuesday.
I honestly expected him to stay. He wanted to go so I didn't stand in his way but now I feel like a bit of an idiot and if I'm honest, alone.
Is it my hormones making me so emotional or do I have a right to be upset over this?

CatMilkMan Tue 28-Jul-15 12:21:08

I can see why you would be upset, can you talk about this when he is back?
Maybe he just didn't realise how hard you are finding it didn't realise he should stay with you.
He may have looked at it simply as a practical decision and didn't think he could do anything to help so reminding him you need emotional support might help.
Does he get home today? Since he has just had a nice little break he should be ready to pick up the slack and do anything he can to help and cheer you up.

CatMilkMan Tue 28-Jul-15 12:22:06

Also congratulations on the pregnancy and I hope that it gets better soon.

luckiestgirlintheworld Tue 28-Jul-15 12:32:42

I personally think you're overreacting a bit.

StockingFullOfCoal Tue 28-Jul-15 12:34:55

He's gone abroad this close to your Due Date? Not acceptable IMO, even more so with spotting and growth issues. YANBU. Although I don't know what to suggest you do.

daisydalrymple Tue 28-Jul-15 12:49:43

I was being monitored for growth from 34 weeks in my pregnancy with dc3. When I went back at 36 weeks they kept me in and induced me. So I don't think you're at all over-reacting. But I wouldn't even have been happy at the weekend being booked at all, never mind the additional monitoring now. (All was fine with dc3, he was born 3wks early at 7lb 2.5oz so try not to worry too much).

Who is looking after dc1&2 when you go into labour? Best wishes with everything.

goddessofsmallthings Tue 28-Jul-15 13:06:23

Hi Jo, I'm sorry your thread appears to have been overlooked and I hope all has been well with you over the weekend and that your dh will soon be home.

Imo you have every right to be upset that he chose to go away immediately after your worrying scan result - what was he thinking... and why didn't you tell ask him to stay?

If being 'handed over to a specialist' means that you wouldn't be making another trip to hospital until sometime this week it could be that your dh took this as reassurance that you wouldn't go into early labour, but if you told him about the Hicks and the spotting he's been inconsiderate in the extreme to disregard your need to have him on hand to care for the dc while you rest up.

Booking a trip abroad so close to your due date was incredibly bad planning on the part of whoever organised it and I hope you'll take them to task as well as reading the riot act to your dh over his lack of consideration for your welfare.

flowers for you with the sincere hope that your dd hasn't made her entrance while her df wasn't on hand to welcome her into the world. .

featherandblack Tue 28-Jul-15 13:06:24

I think he should have offered to stay, yes. Particularly if he has only just got back.

Doodlebug300 Tue 28-Jul-15 13:12:52

I think that you and he should never have planned for him to go away this close to your due date. Were you ok with it before the extra monitoring?

Joysmum Tue 28-Jul-15 13:55:41

I was the opposite way around, when our scan found an issue, I was the one not concerned and my DH was. He didn't tell me, I assumed he felt as I did as I'm not a mind reader.

Did you tel your DH you're concerned and wanted him to not to go?

Offred Tue 28-Jul-15 14:09:26

No, my ex husband did something similar. I was heavily pregnant with twins and had a 2 and a 3 year old. I had hyperemesis and was extremely fatigued and we had only recently discovered it was a twin pregnancy. I was an emotional and physical mess because I really didn't want four children, it had changed all of my future plans, my plans for labour and delivery etc.

He had a stag weekend, I wasn't aware when precisely it was but knew things were only going to get more difficult the more pregnant I got, he had mentioned it but I'd said I didn't think I could cope with the DC and didn't want him to go.

He went to work on the Friday and never came home. I texted to find out where he was and he had left to go to the stag weekend straight from work and claimed he had told me he was doing that (he hadn't).

I never forgave him for it and we are now split up. He showed himself to be increasingly selfish and emotionally abusive as time went on.

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