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A confidence boost I never expected

(34 Posts)
bridie69 Tue 14-Jul-15 09:38:07

I am new on here so hi to all. 51, widowed and relationship free for 8 years now, son and dd grown up, jobs etc. I have had no self confidence in myself for so long count myself lucky to have some close friends and family. I wish I'd discovered MN before thoughsmile
I went away this we to Barcelona to visit an old friend who also recently lost her husband. Strange though it may say under the circumstances we had a wonderful time with lots of laughs as well as some tears. I blush to day this but the highlight of my weekend was being chatted up blush by 2 lovely charming young well by my standards wink Irishmen in a cafe bar we went to. No aggression, no unpleasant advances, just beautiful warmth and kindness. They weren't even fazed one bit when we told them we were widowed and one said he'd lost his father too young and life goes on. They even invited us to Cork for a weekend said they would be happy to show us around. I'm not delusional before you start worrying and have a busy life in London so may not even get in touch, but I have to say Irish men you are right up in my good books right now smile

HappyHugs Tue 14-Jul-15 10:04:01

Thats a lovely story and I am confident those guys were exactly as you describe. I will declare my bias as an Irish person in advance but in my experience we have some of the most genuine and charismatic men in the world (despite their flaws!). You should take them up on their offer. Cork is a beuatiful county, you have years of adventure to be had, go have it! Good luck x

ToastedOrFresh Tue 14-Jul-15 10:21:30

Excellent, I'm gagging for you to go to Cork to meet them just so you can tell me and MN how you got on.

Live vicariously ? Me ?

bridie69 Tue 14-Jul-15 10:27:51

Thanks Happyhugs. Makes me think why can't more people in places like London be like that. My best friend went to live in Dublin for a job and said despite getting expensive it was the best thing she ever did people were so kind and genuine. It doesn't take much to make someone's day and those men did. I am thinking bof telling my shy son to ditch Brussels and move to Ireland if the women are as charming as the men smile

HappyHugs Tue 14-Jul-15 10:44:07

We talk....a LOT. I was discussing this with an American friend who married an Irishman. Her take was that Irish people have a greater interest in other people's stories than their own which is obviously very engaging. And we talk to everyone, my husband and i often join people in bars (wherever we are in Ireland) for the craic, old men, young people, local, foreign, everyone. I've never felt unwelcome., and my husband can always find a line of conversation to suit whoever we meet (youth spent as a barman helped hone that skill)!

bridie69 Tue 14-Jul-15 11:32:40

I am ashamed now to admit not having visited Ireland before but I will go to Cork probably in August. I have a friend in a place called Lismore about an hour away Just goes to show what a tonic a weekend away can be. I'm not sure if my friend will come too she's so busy thankfully I guess with her job. She has been to Ireland on business Dublin I think and fell in love with the people so much. We are all here for each other and small gestures and human warmth really can heal a heart..

bridie69 Thu 16-Jul-15 21:54:28

So I am off to Ireland a bit earlier than expected as friend can make it then too. I am going this weekend..We will stay in a small place about an hour from Cork, and hopefully get a tour of the city although my new friends from Barcelona say the county Cork is more beautiful than the city. This week has taken years off me, I am excited about life again, not the romance as Im not stupid, not that I would say no.., more the excitement of travelling and realising my lifes not over. Will keep yall posted

AnyFucker Thu 16-Jul-15 21:58:14


SakuraSakura Thu 16-Jul-15 22:04:49

Exciting Bridie! you'll be in my hometown....I may be biased, but it's fab. Have a great time. Will watch for updates smile.

Whodathink1t Thu 16-Jul-15 22:14:13

We have a pub in my town that is famous for this - people just talking, wanting to know about each other. The town is proper dull unless you know the right people to tell you some of the history, and we locals are always happy to do a bit of a tour. It's rare in my bit of the UK to find place where it's like this, and I'm so pleased, OP, that you have found some people to restore your faith in human spirit [hippie emoticon]

bridie69 Sat 18-Jul-15 15:08:00

I am in the middle of my weekend here and broadband is patchy, so just to say to anyone this country and all the people I have met have changed my life forever and for the better and anyone who is as down in themselves as I was until recently please consider to come here and let the warmth and kindness of these people heal your heart. I cannot write more now only to say I will write fully tomorrow. We are Cork bound now grinsmile

circleskirt Sat 18-Jul-15 15:34:11

My in laws are Irish, the loveliest people ever.

Have a great time bridie smile

Allgunsblazing Sat 18-Jul-15 15:40:55

Awww, that's so sweet! Thank you for sharing, enjoy your break!

WaterAngel Sat 18-Jul-15 19:17:54

What a lovely thread smile

stareatthetvscreen Sun 19-Jul-15 02:19:33

this is such a joy to read smile hope you have a wonderful time

SwearySwearyQuiteContrary Sun 19-Jul-15 03:55:02

Hope the rest of your weekend is just as wonderful!

Glastokitty Sun 19-Jul-15 04:24:21

I lived in Cork for nine years after leaving London, it's a lovely place. If you are in Clonakilty have a drink in DeBarras for me.

cloudsandrain Sun 19-Jul-15 09:02:46

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheVeryThing Sun 19-Jul-15 09:07:47

How lovely, as a cork woman I'm so glad your visit has lived up to expectations.

TheVeryThing Sun 19-Jul-15 09:09:51

Forgot to add that you sound really lovely yourself so I'm sure that has had a lot to do with the friendliness you've encountered.

vitaminC Sun 19-Jul-15 09:14:30

Awww this thread is heartwarming!
Cork is one of my favourite places and I very much hope to go back there one day. Enjoy the rest of your break, OP smile

Dowser Sun 19-Jul-15 09:26:51

Just found out my great grandmother was from Cork. That's three Irish strains in my family tree( thank you whereas I thought I was more Scottish.

We need to go to! I've never been to Ireland :-(

FayKorgasm Sun 19-Jul-15 09:30:22

What a lovely thread and as a proud Irishwoman I am delighted you are enjoying yourself smile .
If you get time go vist Cobh (Cove). Its beautiful and has a Titanic experience.

bridie69 Sun 19-Jul-15 20:40:22

I come back to London and find so many lovely messages. So here goes the full lowdown. I had a wonderful time. Arrived Friday stayed in Lismore about 1 hours drive. My friend is doing up her house so we stayed in b&b which was lovely. A lovely man running it (is there any other kind in Ireland?) told us over breakfast he had lost his wife 2 years ago but did not dwell on it, I just cannot fathom how warm and open and if I can say it at ease with life and death the people here are. My Barcelona friend called and said I should look around Lismore as it is stunning, which it is, before coming to Cork for dinner.He then arranged for us to get a tour of Lismore Castle a majestic place on the river as his friend is the butler there. The man was lovely too, told us all the history including the sad stuff and gave us a recommendation for dinner in Cork. We headed there for dinner where our utterly charming friend met us straight from horseriding( fortunately changed) Sadly handsome Barcelona Irishman number 2 was not able to join us, but number 1 was so so nice and ever more handsome in the flesh. Im afraid I may have told him so smile Anyway to be honest the food was a bit disappointing ( Irish have not such demanding standards when it comes to curry apparently) and it must have shown because HBI 1invited us to a place called Inchedoney on Sunday. Oh I almost forgot we went out for drinks in Mutton Street( cute place names in Ireland) which I was a bit unsure about anticipating being elderly surrounded by teenagers. HBI reassured us Irish social life is intergenerational which it seems it is and the pubs were quite incredible, live music everywhere you go, & somehow although people are drunk, there just is no aggression as I recall it from London nights out. The Irish women are according to my HBI so self confident the men have to learn to rub along with it or sthg like that. I probably spoke to more people in 2 days than in a year in London although I do have a life.. Inchedoney was lovely but rushed, HBI ( never married 42 yrs old btw ) would not let us pay for a thing good job considering the prices and sorry 1 last BEAUTIFUL anecdote at Shannon airport they have 1 of those public pianos. A youngish guy waiting for a flight to America walked up and played and sang Alicia Keys Empire State of Mind BEAUTIFULLY then walked up to a young disabled girl in a wheelchair and kissed her on the head her smile and that of I presume her parents lit up the place. I am in tears writing this it was all so lovely

Sylvana Tue 21-Jul-15 17:26:21

Great to hear your update Birdie. I'm delighted you had a lovely time. I love Cork. West Cork is really beautiful and further along from Clonakilty (Inchydoney) over to Baltimore, Schull and Barleycove really is another world, magical.

A tip for next time you visit Cork. Don't order curry!! Fish and seafood is the speciality here. You are by the sea ... the pubs and restaurants in the little towns and villages have fresh fish and delicious seafood delivered daily. A bowl of seafood chowder and homemade brown soda bread is what to order wink

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