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Anyone been in a similar relationship and ex situation?

(5 Posts)
rumred Tue 30-Jun-15 21:09:18

I am seeing someone and have been for 8 months. we are both women. its going well. we are late 40s. P is someone I was with 8 years ago for a few years. I regret it ending- my decision, relationship was stalling, neither of us happy. on reflection I wish I had worked harder and been more patient. I have not been in a relationship for more than 6 years- I don't think i'm great at them.

I saw P last year and told her I regretted the ending, and could we try again? she was adamant no. I accepted this and we have been friendly when occasionally we've met. I gave her my number when we met at a work event late last year. nothing until 4 weeks ago- she text to ask if I fancied coffee.

problem is this has raised my anxieties- is P rethinking us getting back together? she stopped texting when I said I was seeing someone. I am wracked with doubt and angst now. I haven't told my gf, because I know I'm now questioning what I actually want and I would hate to cause misery when it may not be needed.

my question- has anyone been through similar? and does anyone have any words of wisdom about how to sort this- do I end my nice current relationship or just get over the uncertainty about my ex and carry on with life as it is? I also worry if we rekindled things it could go pear shaped again and I will have caused even more heartache. this has really unsettled me and there's a cloud over my head because of it

thanks

Zillie77 Wed 01-Jul-15 03:21:56

Do you think that you prefer P over your current GF? If so, why?

rumred Wed 01-Jul-15 07:09:10

It's a long time since we were together so hard to judge if I prefer p. They are very different. Is it bad that I can't answer your question confidently?
I think I am at risk of messing up whatever I do.

Zillie77 Thu 02-Jul-15 05:46:08

I can't help but think that if you were more enthralled with your current girlfriend, you wouldn't be thinking about P.

rumred Thu 02-Jul-15 20:35:08

Fair point. I think I need to be patient and see how it goes with gf over next few months. I have made mistakes before.

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