Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Anyone been in a similar relationship and ex situation?

(5 Posts)
rumred Tue 30-Jun-15 21:09:18

I am seeing someone and have been for 8 months. we are both women. its going well. we are late 40s. P is someone I was with 8 years ago for a few years. I regret it ending- my decision, relationship was stalling, neither of us happy. on reflection I wish I had worked harder and been more patient. I have not been in a relationship for more than 6 years- I don't think i'm great at them.

I saw P last year and told her I regretted the ending, and could we try again? she was adamant no. I accepted this and we have been friendly when occasionally we've met. I gave her my number when we met at a work event late last year. nothing until 4 weeks ago- she text to ask if I fancied coffee.

problem is this has raised my anxieties- is P rethinking us getting back together? she stopped texting when I said I was seeing someone. I am wracked with doubt and angst now. I haven't told my gf, because I know I'm now questioning what I actually want and I would hate to cause misery when it may not be needed.

my question- has anyone been through similar? and does anyone have any words of wisdom about how to sort this- do I end my nice current relationship or just get over the uncertainty about my ex and carry on with life as it is? I also worry if we rekindled things it could go pear shaped again and I will have caused even more heartache. this has really unsettled me and there's a cloud over my head because of it


Zillie77 Wed 01-Jul-15 03:21:56

Do you think that you prefer P over your current GF? If so, why?

rumred Wed 01-Jul-15 07:09:10

It's a long time since we were together so hard to judge if I prefer p. They are very different. Is it bad that I can't answer your question confidently?
I think I am at risk of messing up whatever I do.

Zillie77 Thu 02-Jul-15 05:46:08

I can't help but think that if you were more enthralled with your current girlfriend, you wouldn't be thinking about P.

rumred Thu 02-Jul-15 20:35:08

Fair point. I think I need to be patient and see how it goes with gf over next few months. I have made mistakes before.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now