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feel upset ex getting married

(5 Posts)
ilovechristmas1 Sat 13-Jun-15 19:58:47

hi,dont often post threads but need a place i can vent

me and ex split up over 2yrs ago,he was caught again having an affair

we had been together 6 yrs and he was physically and mentally abusive (have done a DV programme ,councelling etc) i would never let him move in but he was at mine alot so sought of lived together (no dc's together)

anyway he stayed with OW she moved counties to be with him etc,he was very cruel and used to on purpose turn up with her to social places as he knew i would be there,in all the time we split we have had NO contact which i found really hard at first and it was so so upset for along time.He does turn up at my next door neighbours ever so often (been round twice Thursday and Friday (i ignore him)

last year i was diagnosed with Bipolar,it felt like i was having a breakdown and it has taken me time to accept we are no good for each other,i have been doing really well and meds all working really well

a close friend died recently and two days ago was the funeral so a little emotional at the moment

today i bumped into somebody and they told me the ex is planning on getting married,i feel so upset and down,i feel like ive gone back a year + as to my recovery

he was a cheat a liar,violent and unreliable,

i hate how i feel and just want to go to bed and brood

it seems to me he's had a great time the last few years,hasnt sufferred,hasnt been upset,to me his affair has paid dividends,i hate myself for how i feel i thought i had gone past all this

anybody else experienced similar

AuntyMag10 Sat 13-Jun-15 20:11:45

Poor you, you need to keep perspective of this. He's an abuser, liar, cheat and it's now someone else's problem. He will be the same person so you are not missing out on anything.

Hassled Sat 13-Jun-15 20:16:33

You're upset about what could have been - that was your future, and now you have a different future. It will take time to adjust - and with the diagnosis etc it sounds like you've had a hell of a lot to process in the last year. And then the death of your friend - no wonder you're all over the place. So don't beat yourself up for having a bit of a moment that he's marrying - it's understandable. But with time you'll be OK - you must be strong to cope with what you've already dealt with.

ilovechristmas1 Sat 13-Jun-15 20:19:01

should add since we split had 1 brief fling for 4-6 wks but i called it off as my heart was not in it,even after 2 yrs i have no desire to have another relationship,although i feel im the only person not in a relationship and this is my lot

bit of a pity party for me tonight smile

Allofaflumble Sat 13-Jun-15 22:35:44

Just be kind to yourself. I'm sure you would be kind to a friend going through this.

I ended a relationship well over a year ago and still have the odd dream about taking revenge and how dare he get over it so quickly.

It will pass with time. You are entitled to feel hurt and disappointed.

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