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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Getting someone to leave

19 replies

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 10:01

My relationship is over, it's my house, he moved in a few years ago, but he won't leave.
We were together 4 years, met online, I have 3 dcs and we have none together. We're not married. He only started financially contributing 7 months ago, he's been deceitful, and I've had enough.
If I've communicated it clearly, is it ok to pack his bags, and tell him to leave? I don't think he has any legal rights on my house.
I feel emotionally detached, it's weird!

OP posts:

Report

Only1scoop · 20/05/2015 10:03

Absolutely and be direct giving him a date to be out by.

I take it no contract has ever been drawn up etc?

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 10:15

No, it's my house. No mortgage etc.

OP posts:

Shinyshoes2 · 20/05/2015 10:21

Wait til he goes out . Change locks . Clothes in bin bags

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 10:24

That would be my fantasy! I keep thinking why I don't do this??

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 20/05/2015 10:25

You might be best reposting this on the legal board.

If he's been living there permanently for some time then afaik he will have "lodger's rights" which means you can't just change the locks and put him out.

You'll need to give him written notice to move out and I think the minimum is 28 days. You might want to engage a solicitor to send this letter if you think that will give it more weight.

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 10:34

Thanks I will look into this. I keep thinking any self respecting man would just leave when asked!
I can easily put it in writing though.

OP posts:

Quitelikely · 20/05/2015 10:38

Put it in writing that by a certain date you expect him to leave. Advise that as from that date onwards the locks will be changed and if he tries to force entry the police will be called.

I have to say, if I was you I would swap his front door key for a totally random one so that the next time he went to return home he could not get in. I would kindly leave his belongings out front, nicely packed and in dry conditions!

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 10:52

I would so want to do that! I should have done it when I discovered the last dodgy text, but that was weeks ago! I kinda feel that there's no momentum to do that, I'm probably wrong though! A phrase keeps going through my head "revenge is a dish best served cold"!

OP posts:

Quitelikely · 20/05/2015 10:55

Well he has shown you a clear lack of respect.

You are truly right to get rid of him.

It looks like he won't go quietly or nicely as you have asked.

Please force his hand!

Quitelikely · 20/05/2015 10:56

As long as all his belongings are on that step he genuinely has no reason to come indoors. Ever. Again.

Say goodbye to the loser!

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 11:02

I wish I had the balls to do that! I keep thinking how much more room I'll have in my bedroom, for my stuff!

OP posts:

LazyLouLou · 20/05/2015 11:05

No tenancy agreement, no name on bills?

Write a letter telling him to be out on Friday or Saturday or Sunday (pick a day you can live with, 28 days is a polite guideline not a legal requirement), by noon. Then change the locks and leave his stuff on the step.

He has, at best, lodger's rights, ie very, very few. Kick him out. Call the police if he tries to stay... tell him you will do so in your letter.

Good luck

pictish · 20/05/2015 11:08

Despite the astute legal advice that has been offered...and I think you should probably follow it...I know it would be black bags and the locks changed if it were me.

SocksRock · 20/05/2015 11:14

He is what is technically called an excluded occupier - he has no tenancy rights. You can ask him to leave, and he must leave. It is polite to give some notice - but 24/48 hours is a notice period. The police can help you to get him to leave if he refuses to go. Shelter website has some information about excluded occupiers.

If there is any chance at all he will become abusive (verbally or physically) then I would just tell him you want him gone tomorrow. Then as soon as he leaves (even if it is without his stuff - maybe because he doens't think you are serious or is refusing) I would change the locks and pack his stuff up.

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 12:01

Thank you for all your advice. I think he hasn't gone as he doesn't think I'm serious. Time for me to get serious!

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Bailey101 · 20/05/2015 12:12

pocketsaviour lodgers have very few rights - all you need to give is reasonable notice, which in the case of poor or threatening behaviour is a few minutes.

Jan45 · 20/05/2015 14:06

Sounds like he treated you with no respect anyway so why would he change now, what a bloody cheek, yeah spell it out for him, write a big poster on the wall!

pocketsaviour · 20/05/2015 14:18

Thanks bailey that's why I suggested OP post on legal board! Good to know she can make it quicker than 28 days.

OP I found this info so if he starts to kick off you can tell him to dry his tears and pack his shit!

RedRaw · 20/05/2015 20:44

Thank you Pocket, good to know

OP posts:

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