Situation with 'friend' how to announce pregnancy? Advice please

[Littleyellowbirdie]

Very long story short.
I've been trying to 'phase out' someone who was a very close friend for quite a few years. I know many people don't agree with that but I did so because I was to scared to have a confrontation about their behaviour. When they have had big fall outs in the past (has happened a lot) 'friend' has been aggressive and vindictive and I didn't want to be on the recoeving end.
Over the last year I have 'been very busy' and we just have not seen each other not spoken in 3 months.
I am expecting dc do I call/text friend before I announce on social media as they are likely to be very angry that I've not told them in advance but if I do I don't want 'friend' to take that as a signal that I want to be in communication with them.
I know this is a weird situation and sounds like playground stuff but not sure how to handle all this?
Already 16 weeks so need to announce soon.
Thanks

[eurochick]

I'm not sure why you need to announce it on social media at all. The first mention I put up was of my baby's safe arrival. But assuming you want to, go ahead. You don't seem to like this person so why do you care about what they think?

[Littleyellowbirdie]

Because I'm scared of their reaction I think :(

[SoftSheen]

Don't announce on Facebook until baby's arrival.

Include 'friend' in a group email sent to all of your friends who you don't see that often/ aren't particularly close. That way she can't claim you didn't tell her but you don't need to have an individual conversation with her.

[Littleyellowbirdie]

That is an option only thing is we have mutual friends so it might be before then but it's something to think about

[DuelingFanjo]

Oh god. I hate the 'I never announced anything on facebook' drivel.

If you want to put it on FB then do. And just let her do whatever she is going to do, don't make a point of telling her separately.

[SurlyCue]

Just announce it! Screw her reaction. If shes a twat about it you just block her and ignore her calls text. It says a lot about the sort of person she is that you are basing this decision on her reaction. Its fuck all to do with her. Just announce it, seriously what is she going to do? You want her out if your life anyway.

[SavoyCabbage]

Just tell people as you see them. So it's not a secret or a big deal. I've never seen a pregnancy announcement on Facebook.

[letscookbreakfast]

Whereas loads of my friends announce their pregnancies on Facebook..

OP do whatever you want.

[ememem84]

i'm not a fan of the Facebook announcement myself, but see no problem with others doing that if thats what they want... so if you want to do the Facebook thing, just do it.

assumingly you'll tell family before you tell the world, so unless friend is family....she'll hear about it when everyone else does.

[LongHardStare]

I would text her so she isn't offended to avoid the drama and backlash. You don't have to make it personal: phrase the text as if you are sending to multiple people at once ("dear friends"). You can do it the same day as you put it on social media.

It is stressful when someone vindictive turns on you, especially if you have mutual friends and so can't help but engage on some level. Why not do what you can to avoid the hassle?

[LongHardStare]

I forgot to say congratulations!

[sadwidow28]

Congrats OP!

Do whatever you would normally do without this "friend's" feelings being taken into account. Announce on FB, send texts, do whatever!

I have FB but rarely use it. Three times I have turned up at family do and there is a new baby being passed around . Nieces/nephew said, "But we put it on FB" I now phone my Mother every November to make sure that there are no new additions to the Christmas list

[Littleyellowbirdie]

Thanks all for advice