I have been trolling the forums for a while and I have found several posts that I have found some great advice from on similar subjects.
My reason for this post is to get some advice and maybe some guidance or a new way of looking at things.
See, I am a male to female transsexual, I have always been this way it's not a choice it's how I have always felt. I have not transitioned and I still live as a male, as I now have two totally awesome children, one 5 and one 8 years old. Both lovely and happy.
Ok, maybe I should rewind a few years.. Since the age of 15 I have been doing drag, I even carved a career as a drag queen deejay and travelled the world deejaying, life was great. I started the transition, I did all the Charing Cross jump through hoops, live as a woman full time and so on..this was very easy for me as it just felt natural and right.
Anyways.. I was on HRT for maybe 7- 10 months, the strangest thing happened, my partner fell pregnant. At first I was sure it couldn't be mine as I shouldn't be able to produce healthy sperm due to the HRT, I knew my partner was faithful and I manned up and stopped everything, stopped being myself and I became my first born sons dad. I started a business and got working in a,normal, role. I built a good business. A few years latter we had my daughter. All was fine, I was so busy with the business and arranging work and doing deals I actually thought my transgender had gone! I thought being a dad and a business man was all I needed. It lasted a few years.
To present.
My partner has just been accepted on a NHS university course to be a mental Health nurse, she already has two degrees so this third one and this will land her a top job. She has been working towards this for the last few years, and I did say when I started my business that when she gets on the course I will give up work and stay at home with the kids. (We don't want child care) being a person of honour I held my word. And I sold my business.
Now she is the bread winner, and our lives are really good. We are all happy and in a comfortable position.
This is my problem, I feel more transgendered now than I ever have! I have told my partner and she feels the same way as I do, this is who I am before we met, and whilst we dated. Our problem is the kids. It's more my problem, how the hell do I even go about it. Will it cause problems? Will they get bullied at school? And so on..
Is there anyone else in this position? I am of the thinking of waiting until they have finished school and then just dropping it like a bomb, daddy's done this for you, so you let him do this for herself.
I know I probably need some kind of counselling, how ever at the moment like I said, my life is great, I have never been so secure and happy.
The shadow just won't go away... Anyone else feel like me?
Thanks for reading, and sorry if I seem to babble a bit, I've not really written anything since school. ??
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14 replies
Kris1975 · 02/05/2015 16:44
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