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Getting back together after divorce

(10 Posts)
aglassofmandms Tue 13-Jan-15 13:58:18

Split with my ex husband three years ago. We've co-parented well and continue to be 'friends' as in a caring way, rather than 'hanging' out.

Recently we've started being in contact more. Less out about our DD but more about how are days were and I can't put my finger on it, but I've started to 'feel' something again.

We have led separate lives since we split. He had an 8 month affair. To be honest despite the pain at the time it has been a kind of best thing to happen to me and gave me the opportunity to find out who I am and grow, as we met as teenagers. He has also grown in to an amazing person (ironic, I know) and I'm finding myself being drawn to him.

Anyone else had this?

aglassofmandms Tue 13-Jan-15 13:59:35

It's as though I feel that this could be our only chance to try again. Btw his relationship with OW never continued after D Day.

Justmuddlingalong Tue 13-Jan-15 14:01:35

How does he feel?

WannaBe Tue 13-Jan-15 14:02:47

have you talked about getting back together?

Given he had an eight month affair, do you think you could trust him again?

Tbh I think that it's possible for a split and even an affair to mak us better people, but only you know the circumstances of your split, and the possibilities around whether you really think that you could make this work again. the steaks are high if your dc are still young, as they will now be settled with you two apart, so if you get back together it will be more disruption for them if it doesn't work.

I would say take things slowly - very slowly if you even want to go down this route.

gildedcage Tue 13-Jan-15 15:05:47

I know a couple of people who have done this. I can't say whether I advise it or not, only you know if you could see him without tainted lenses. But certainly I have known at least two couples who have done this, one who had married a couple of times in between, and they seem very happy.

Sickoffrozen Tue 13-Jan-15 16:05:28

I know someone who did this, they stayed together for another 5 years then split again when her "D"H had another affair. It ruined her both financially and emotionally and she now sees that it was a terrible mistake.

I would be extremely cautious with this!

Jan45 Tue 13-Jan-15 17:16:23

I would also advise caution, an 8 month affair is not something you will ever forget, so how could you trust him if things turned sour again, seems a real risky thing to do but hey, true love and all that jazz....

Twinklestein Tue 13-Jan-15 17:39:52

Even if he's amazing he's still a cheat. Are you sure he has any interest in rekindling? He may not. And even if he does he may cheat again.

aglassofmandms Tue 13-Jan-15 22:13:14

Thank you for your posts. I know he wants us to try again as he has told me. I haven't wanted to actually discuss it with him until I knew on my head how I felt about things.

kar95 Thu 21-Jan-16 15:48:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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