Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

I've done something stupid and undone all my hardwork

18 replies

notagain2015 · 10/01/2015 16:36

NC because i am ashamed and i will get over it but i've fucked up.

my exP and i broke up in 2013. I went no contact and life continued fine. I had a wobble in 2014 and set up a fake FB account to stalk him... (i know, i know!!) he rejected my request as he didnt recognise the person - obviously - and sent a PM saying "not sure i recognise you" etc etc.

I moved on, or so i thought. He did try to reach out to me i.e. on my normal e-mail / social media accounts during the course of the year but i wasn't having it.

So yesterday, I had the bright idea of messaging him on the previous fake FB account saying Happy new year. He messaged back saying "oh hi where are you", i'm now dying inside because a few days ago he contacted me but ignored him and so now i'm assuming he must know it was me with the fake FB account. Especially because he accepted the friend request and we had a bit of a PM chat in which if he put two and two together he would realise it was me.

I now feel awful because it looks like I've been stalking him for the past year at least! I'm hoping he has a few doubts that it might not be me but i just feel so awful. We haven't directly spoken in nearly 2 years so i'm really hoping that he doesn't think its me. I'm so annoyed with myself i could happily live under the table for the rest of my life.

OP posts:

Report

FunkyBoldRibena · 10/01/2015 16:37

In the nicest possible way - grow up!

Delete the fake account and move on.

dirtybadger · 10/01/2015 16:39

Deactivate the account and continue NC. He probably knows it's you but oh well.

Stop stalking him.

DustBunnyFarmer · 10/01/2015 16:46

Maybe he just thinks your fake account is a potential (random) easy lay and has decided to test the waters. But, really, Funky has it. Sounds like you are getting far too much out of the drama. Perhaps you should try knocking it on the head for a while.

HanselandGretle · 10/01/2015 16:49

So why didn't you speak to him when he contacted you on your normal account? What makes you think he knows it's you on the fake one?

You have been stalking him, it doesn't just look like it.

Older · 10/01/2015 16:51

What are you hoping for from this thread? That's a genuine question not an attack

wideboy26 · 10/01/2015 16:58

It sounds as though you need something to worry about!

AnyFucker · 10/01/2015 17:14

Have you thought of taking up crochet ?

notagain2015 · 10/01/2015 17:20

Dirtybadger yes, deleting account after this post.

Dust ur most probably right, he did think maybe i'm up for a quick shag. dont think he knows it was me though as he has blocked the fake account but all his requests to my 'real' accounts are still pending.

its just that i've struggled to move on from him and feel like i dealt myself a massive blow.

Older i just want to be able to let go of the future that i thought we had together.

Wide i see where your coming from. i have a lot going on in my life as it is but i just had a massive wobble.

OP posts:

HotLipsHoulihan · 10/01/2015 17:46

Stop being so silly.

That is what I would say to my 16 year old.

What a non problem

BitOutOfPractice · 10/01/2015 18:02

Erm, can we have a bit of sympathy please for a women struggling to get over an ex who is already berating herself enough for a silly mistake please?

OP see this as a sign to delete the account and block him on your real account.

I know that checking up on an ex can become a compulsion that's hard to give up but really, its not good for your recovery so try and stop

flux500 · 10/01/2015 18:15

Do you want him back?

Vivacia · 10/01/2015 18:17

I've checked up on exes, I can see how you could get to the point you have. Stop beating yourself up, delete that account and be gentle with yourself.

calmexterior · 10/01/2015 18:44

Nevermind. Sounds like you've taken 10 steps forward and one back - it happens.

One day you'll not even think about him at all, so onwards and upwards

PenelopeWeaver · 10/01/2015 18:53

I did similar with my XP. He blocked me - i like to think he didn't know it was me, but I'll never know.

I'm now giving my attention to people who make me important,..,,and thats cetainly not him.

notagain2015 · 10/01/2015 19:39

thanks all. account now deleted and going to stay strong. i got a kick up the back side.

here's to the new year and moving on and away from things that cause such pain.

OP posts:

BitOutOfPractice · 10/01/2015 19:45

Well done! You will start to feel better every day you are NC.

Good luck and happy New Year to you

springydaffs · 10/01/2015 23:49

Sounds like you had a major shame attack.

Perhaps do some research into shame. It gets into everything when there's a massive pool of it under the surface.

I doubt he knew it was you btw. But quit the stalking, it only makes you feel shit xx

Pastmyduedate0208 · 10/01/2015 23:56

Imagine a nice New York accent here:

Forget about it!

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.