Really need some perspective....
I have two Children ages 4 and 8.
The youngest has been extremely difficult in the of behaviour since he was old enough to speak/move about! He has some extreme, behaviours but in most ways is NT. He is surrently under The Paediatrician who when she saw him last summer seemed to be ready to diagnose him with Aspergers, however as he was improving in some areas she held off.
Oldest son - very bright, in top of class, scored as highly as possible to get in SATs last year. Has extra Englsih and maths coaching at his primary school to keep him interested. I mention this as I am not sure of some of the issues stem from him being so bright/ switched on or if it is indeed just behaviours. At school he is a perfect pupil.
At home oldest son is extremely reactive and will start to scream and shout and sometimes hits and kicks me, if something 'goes wrong' . Eg his ipad has not been charged, his brother has touched his sponge, it could be anything. He is cheeky and doesn't listen or do as he is asked. Last night his Dad took him to his once a week sports activity and because I had forgotten to pack one item he had a meltdown in the changing room, DP says it was so extreme he thought they were going to call the police!!
I feel depressed and at my wits end with all of this.
We have tried a range of strategies to improve things but as yet not hit upon anything that works.
Anyway, the relationship issues is that I rang my Mum last night in tears, it's has been a dreadful week as my youngest has been to ill to go to nursery. Hence I have had to take time off work ( in reality what happened is I still need to respond to calls and emails sie nd up multitasking to hype point of having palpitations). I have a job interview today which I have had no time to prepare for. Then DP and DS come in and I get the full force of the incident to contend with.
So I ring my mum, just asking for support. She then launches into a tirade about how spoiled my kids are, why does DS 1 'have so much' and why do we 'pander to him' citing several activities he has tried since the age of four, didn't enjoy and hence didn't peruse, no big deal in my book.
She then said he doesn't need x activity as he is already better than her at it!!?
She the. Went on to say we 'let the kids rule us' which may in fact be somewhat true, given that Ds2 is extremely hard work and it is very difficult to rust anyone else to have him to give us a bit of grown up time.
I really lost my temper as I had not asked for a critique of my parenting, what Inwanted was five minutes of support, a very very rare occurrence.
My Mum seems to think she has all the answers when is fact she only has me to judge on, I was by everyone's standards an exceptionally easy and well behaved child, probably due to the crappy and stressful life I had, which I have never spoken about with Mum or judged her for in any way. My mum also had her Mum who looked after me all the time, after school, holidays and weekend, therefore giving my Mum the freedom to peruse her own life.
I just feel so angry and disappointed with her!!!!!
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Fallen out with mum, she says my kids are spoilt....
Mrshumptydumpty · 09/01/2015 10:21
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