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On the road to happiness?

(7 Posts)
yummum09 Tue 06-Jan-15 16:51:17

I have not posted on here for such a long time but in need of reassurance right now. Long story short i gave my abusive boyfriend another chance end of last year, after at least 12months of abuse in which i see clearly now, Physically a few times but mostly name calling and house rules and generally making me feel worthless, i did give him a chance though many times but lately i have realised i cannot get any feeling back for this man i have been with him a number of years but i took the massive step middle of last year to move out of the home as he went too far physically so with help from one friend found rented accomodation , so end of last year i gave him another chance we do not live together but he would come round or vice versa to try and see if it can work.
When i ended it before he didnt accept it and constansly text me, follow me to school where our child goes etc until i gave in and said yes to another chance. Anyway i recently experianced another ordeal in which i have totally realised i need to end this for good and never go back. Just in need of some support as i literally have about 5 friends this man got rid of all my friends a few years ago i used to have a good social life and really good friends , at the moment i only have a few who ive met through child playgroups and school parents, i am also worryed about the after affects of ending it with him again, i feel abit anxious about everyday things as hes always been there, shopping, going to appointments etc i havent done anything alone for as long as i can remember, so im entering the unknown but i know if i stay with him im going to end up trapped again.

Joysmum Tue 06-Jan-15 16:56:01

I don't have any experience of this at all, but just wondered if you could just in touch with your old friends at all?

I've lost touch with loads of people over the years and couldn't think of any friends I'd not be happy to see.

yummum09 Tue 06-Jan-15 17:08:27

Im not sure its very difficult as he deleted all there numbers on my phone years ago and before that he txted them from my phone. He did this again last year with the little friends i have but luckily i had wrote there numbers down a few weeks before so i have there details. Im really wanting to end this relationship before the end of january as the longer it goes on more chance of me changing my mind and also the harder itll be.

BitOutOfPractice Tue 06-Jan-15 17:12:23

Can you find them on FB? Do you have family.

Don't worry about doing the everyday stuff alone - you have already proved yourself to be a strong and capable woman by leaving this twunt

Good luck OP thanks I have a feeling you'll be just fine

rumred Tue 06-Jan-15 17:24:06

please consider speaking to the police about being assaulted. it will harm your children- now and in their futures. You need to get some solid support moving on from this awful person. a loving partner/parent does not assault other people and cause their family distress

hope you get the support you need- womens aid and friends are invaluable at times like this

yummum09 Tue 06-Jan-15 17:51:20

i am going to ring womens aid for advice on ending the relationship , yes i do have family although they dont know the full extent of his behaviour. i dont want to get the police involve i think that will make things worse although at one point when we lived together i was quite disapointed the neighbours didnt call them when the attack happened.

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 06-Jan-15 18:00:29

Calling the police in may sound like a drastic step but if you are being attacked then he is committing a crime. He would be removed from the home and you and your children would be offered help. Reporting assaults will also help if, in future, you need legal aid or you are subjected to an access dispute. I'm sorry neighbours turned a deaf ear last time. Please ask for help

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