My DP and I have been together for 3 years. We have lived togehter (currently do not live togehter due to a temporary job, but this will change again very soon).
My DP is extremely insecure about me speaking/talking to other men. I have never cheated on him and never would. However, he deals with this insecurity better than I do with mine. I am not insecure about him cheating, but I feel the need to constantly 'test' out the strength ofmy relationship by seeing if he will agree when I say I want to end it.
I know this sounds awful, and that is why I have come here for advice. My insecurity has increased recently with the move apart. My DP's mother is very against our relatinshop, as she has been with anyone my DP has ever been involved with. From a mature perspective, I know that it is not about me, but anytime anyting is said, I panic, go into defense mode and say maybe we should end things.
I have done this since day one, but it has been an almsot daily occurance now. I can't seem to stop it. It's like I need the confirmation that he still wnats me.
Briefly, I should add that my partner isby no means an angel - he can act very selfishly, and this can upset me, but I know he is a good man and the way I behave when I am insecure is not proportionate to nay selfish behaviour of his.
I am left feeling ashamed, guilty, sick and pathetic each time I do it. It has got to the point where today he says he feels drained by it and 'one time I may actually want to and he wont believe me.' I know all this is true, and now he hasn't answered my calls this afternoon.
I know I am in the wrong here, so please be kind. I am a good person and I would do anythign formy DP, and I love him a lot. I just don't know how to stop this. It is such an immature way to behave and we are both in our very late twneties. I don't want my life to be like this, it makes me feel worthless as well as what it does to both of us :(
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Need help - how can I stop feeling so insecure and threataning to break up? :(
girltalk12 · 05/01/2015 15:23
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