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Affair and pregnant

(9 Posts)
BoredAdminGirl Tue 23-Dec-14 13:30:27 work colleague has been having an affair with a married man for nigh on 12 months, she also has a husband and child.

She has not been using protection and the guy she is having an affair with is a massive tool.

We warned her about the affair but she is infatuated, obsessed even.

She is now saying she will just abort the baby as she has no choice.

WTF I don't even know what to say to her

NaiceNickname Tue 23-Dec-14 13:43:11

Nothing, absolutely none of your business. You didn't even refer to her as friend, just work colleague. Her life, her choices.

GirlWithaPearlEarring Tue 23-Dec-14 13:43:21

I suppose your response would depend on how close you are to this woman. Personally, this kind of behavior would disgust me - I abhor affairs because they wreck lives - so I would be inclined to tell her that I think what she is doing is really selfish and wrong, and reduce all further contact to the bare minimum. She could take it how she likes.

But if you're friends, and not just co-workers or your job requires lots of close involvement that may be more difficult.

Is she actually asking for advice?

Vivacia Tue 23-Dec-14 13:49:43

Why would you say anything confused ? Can you tell us more about your relationship with her, to help us understand why you feel the need?

BoredAdminGirl Tue 23-Dec-14 13:53:14

Oh yeah sorry, we have become friends over the last two years. We talk a lot about our lives outside work and walk our dogs together.

She is asking me for advice on whether to tell the OM, her husband who she doesn't love or just to get an abortion.

CleanLinesSharpEdges Tue 23-Dec-14 14:00:24

Are you sure you're a friend, or are you just someone she's found that will indulge her in discussing her affair and all the drama surrounding it? Is she there for you as a friend, listening to your problems, supporting you when you need it, or is it all about her?

She's ignored all your advice thus far, why do you think she will suddenly start listening?

I'd be tempted to tell her to STFU about it from now on, and my guess is she'll find another "friend" to bore with it all when she realises you won't give it any oxygen.

CogitOIOIO Tue 23-Dec-14 14:20:22

If you really want a suggestion what to say then I think it has to be 'it's not my place to advise' Because this is a rotating fan, the shit is airborne, your friend doesn't sound very bright and, if you get involved, you're going to get splattered.

Vivacia Tue 23-Dec-14 14:36:45

So you're friends and not colleagues, and she's been asking you for advice, not telling you her decisions?

Puzzledandpissedoff Tue 23-Dec-14 14:45:23

Because this is a rotating fan, the shit is airborne, your friend doesn't sound very bright and, if you get involved, you're going to get splattered

Cog among the countless brilliant posts you make, that's got to be one of the best grin Oh, and you're right, of course ...

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