Thinking about leaving my partner...

[abitscared123]

Hi all,

I have namechanged for this one.

My partner and I have been together for just coming up to four years and have lived together (rented) for three.

We got engaged last month on my birthday. Whilst I was surprised, I knew it was coming as we bought my ring together a few months before. Saying yes was a mistake.

Whilst everything was brilliant for the first three years, over the last 12 months I have felt myself drift away from him. He is my best friend and we enjoy each others company however I no longer have any romantic feelings towards him.

We have never been particularly passionate or one of those couples who are having sex multiple times a night but since around our two year anniversary the sex has steadily declined to once every two to three months at a push. I have absolutely no desire to have sex with, kiss or even cuddle him any more but when we've spoken about it we both conclude that the lack of romance is just the way we are. I'm not so sure...

We both seem to have gone down separate paths over time. I've developed a confidence, drive and enjoy spending time with my colleagues and friends whereas he appears to want to just continue plodding on, working in a dead-end albeit ok paying job, spending (excessive amounts of) time on his computer/consoles and not really 'going' anywhere in life.

There's a lot more I could go into but ultimately I am scared of changing my life. We have a lovely rented house, what happens to that? It's a sole tenancy in my name, do I just ask him to leave, do I leave? We have 3 cats, I feel horrible for taking them away from him (they are like the children we haven't had yet)?!

All these stupid thoughts run through my head and it puts me off, the 'inconvenience' part of it! That can't be my reason for continuing the relationship until death do us part!

[Quitelikely]

Sometimes relationships run their course, I think that's what has happened here.

Don't feel bad at least you are honest.

[redredholly]

You won't regret breaking up. Do it now - like pulling off a plaster. He can leave before xmas! I am serious. It just has to be done.

You're young and can't waste any more time like this.