Ok have posted a few times under another name about my semi recent break with my lying cheating ex. Discovered he had cheated on me with 3 other women, had online dating profile and then spilt up with me because he "didn't want a relationship" but within a week had a new gf with photos all over social media of them.
This was around 2 months ago and at the time l felt like my heart had split into a million pieces. I'm still devastated about it, not about losing him per se more that l was so stupid not to realise what he was doing and that he didn't care about me. I have good days where l don't cry or think about him too much (mainly when l stay really busy) and bad days where I'm engulfed with sobs and everything l see/do reminds me of him.
Ok so to the point of this post! My friends encouraged me to set up an online dating profile, not really to meet someone yet but more just to show that there is other apparently decent men out there. It was on pof and l set my profile to hidden so other people couldn't find me & l wouldn't come up in searches, so basically the only people l could speak to were men l contacted first.
A few days ago l came across the profile of an old friend. I have known this man for a long time although we have lost touch in the last few years. There has always been chemistry with this man and he is a lovely lovely guy. When we were much younger, like early twenties we used to always joke that we would get married one day. He did ask me out a few times back then but l felt he wasn't mature enough for the relationship l wanted and always said no. Over the years we have met up or bumped into each other, chemistry still obviously there but one of us had always been in a relationship. I last saw him a few years ago when l had started seeing ex and he asked about it and looked pretty gutted when l confirmed we were in a serious relationship. He knows ex, you could even call them friends although certainly not good friends.
I'm not sure if he even knows l have split with ex yet. My dilemma is do l contact him to see if there is any possibility of something happening with us? I know l am not fully over ex yet, and no idea when l will be, but this is the first time in years we have both been single and l am worried if l leave it for a while he will meet someone else. I would hate him to think that l was using him to get back at ex or that l was on the rebound. There is a possibility l will see him out and about over Xmas holidays now l am going out more but it's not definite.
I know the decent thing to do would be to wait, but if l do what if he meets somebody? He not even be interested in me but l don't want to miss the chance to be with somebody who l have genuine chemistry with and l know to be a thoroughly decent man. What do l do?? 
Argh l'm so sorry this is so long!
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Found an old friend on online dating, what to do?
SantaIKnowHim · 14/12/2014 10:12
See I thought everyone would be saying no don't do it! My self esteem has taken a massive battering recently and l guess l am terrified of rejection, especially with someone l know and have mutual friends with.
So if l contact him do l do it over pof or do l send him a text? If text do l mention pof? I'm worried if l contact him and he knows about spit with ex then he will automatically think I'm only getting in touch to get back at ex! was thinking of waiting to see if l bump into him over Xmas but do l take that chance?
I'd probably open with "come here often?", but I'm a sleaze. 
Ok consensus seems to be send him a breezy fancy seeing you here type message on pof and see what happens.
And yes l am definitely over thinking this! I really just want to re-initiate the friendship and see if the chemistry is still there and take it from there and see what happens.
Will send him a message tonight after a few wines for Dutch courage 
Go on do it, you have got nothing to lose and everything to gain. A very similar thing happened to me once about 6 years ago. I saw my school girl crush on an online dating site. I was like this 
. I contacted him and let's just say we ended up having some fun 
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