I just wanted to vent....(5 Posts)
I've posted before.. firstly about working away during the week and coming home at weekends. I was offered a job about 100 miles.. amazing job.. my partner didn't want to move.. so I was looking at ways to keep the relationship alive.. and secondly.. she went nuts and took my door keys off me.. I was stuck.. etc.
Anyway.. things moved on.. as they do.. I managed to get my door keys back.. we kind of worked out a couple ways forward.. 1. I can away work away during the week.. as long as she is financially ok and that she isn't disadvantaged... or 2. I find my own place near the new job.. and we carry on seeing each other. She will need to go back on benefits (she doesn't work) but she will be independent and the home will be secure.. I will also help financially where I can.
We both kind of opted of number 2.. ok.. no problems... I can save for the two of us.. still see each other.. and I'll commit to travelling back and forth.. Cool.. this was on Saturday.
However, yesterday major major meltdown.. She drunk one bottle of brandy.. shouted and cursed at me for approximately 3 hours solid.. Called me all sorts of names.. told me I was useless.. a c*nt.. not a man.. but a boy.. She wanted me out the house ASAP.. went over things that had happened in the past.. went over my past relationships...she believes I've used her to get through a bankruptcy.. I had lost my job when I met her and had to take a lower pay.. I couldn't meet my debts.. I took advice and the bankruptcy was my only option..
She basically thinks the worst of me.. thinks that I used her.. and believes I planned everything etc.
There were so many accusations thrown at me.. I was left completely bewildered. She would shout over me.. not let me talk... call me names.. talk bad about my family... it was bad.
We had an agreement, I would move out before the start of my new job.. 5th Jan.. but I would ensure that she could buy her son both a birthday and Christmas present.. I helped with this.. I adore her son and .. gave £300 to ensure he had an amazing time.. I also deposited an extra £200 to help her with other bills i.e. electric, gas etc. Rent and council tax paid by me.
I stuck to my agreement.. but last night during the melt down.. she wanted me out by the end of the week.. if not 5 people would be waiting for me..
She then demanded her key back.. she was completely drunk.. screaming.. shouting... I gave her the key.. she then produced an envelope out of her pants (!!)... it had money I had withdrawn to buy my own son a Christmas present. She told me she would have kept it if she didn't get the key...
She had got the envelope by going through one of my drawers. I told her please don't go through my things.. she went nuts.. "My house.. f*ck off.. I can do what I like... etc..."
She stormed off.. told me I was worse than her son's dad...her ex husband.. he had hit her.. bite through her ear... hit her son when he was just one years old... abused her older children.. would disappear for days.. took money out of her bank account.. and ultimately.. had intimate relations with men(!)... Apparently I'm the worse than that... she then stomped.. went upstairs and started to thrown my suits into bin bags..
It's absolutely nuts..
I slept on the sofa..
In the morning I had to wake her up... her son needed to go to school.. he gets collected by a special needs bus.
She then got in the car.. and this is after drinking a bottle of brandy the night before.. and took her grandson to nursery... She must have still been drunk...!!!!
Is it me... or is this absolutely awful behaviour and the actions of someone with mental issues?
Should I speak to the police... I didn't like the threatening - 5 people waiting for me... taking her grandson to school while no doubt still under the influence...
I'm looking to get out asap... but... some of last night has left me speechless..
Sweetheart get out asap please. She is unstable and possibly dangerous. You've clearly tried, and been very fair but this is a losing game and not worth it.
Absolutely do call the police if you feel threatened in any way.
I think you should get yourself away and safe first and foremost. Once safe, have a word with the police and possible the Child Protection people. I don't know about mental health issues but she sounds dangerous and volatile
I guess she doesn't really believe the things that she is accusing you of. she is not getting her way because you have chosen the job over the relationship (which I think is sensible) She chose not to relocate IIRC from the other thread.
This is how she behaves when she isn't getting her way. Anger and blame.
It's not you! She's not in a good place to have a relationship with. You have to let her go.
Follow Cog's advice if you think she is a danger to her son. I expect she'll calm down a bit when you go. She might have initiated a nasty fight to end the relationship herself, you know, to try to feel in control again.
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