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So frustrated...

6 replies

Mandatorymongoose · 03/12/2014 13:11

This isn't really a relationship issue but since my original thread was here, I thought I'd use this board to vent a little, I hope no one minds.

It's possible some of you might remember I posted back in January about my daughter being attacked - I was trying to work out what to do and irrationally upset about a jumper I got excellent advice and we went to the police.

So now it's 11 months later and exactly nothing has happened. The case is being bounced back and forth by the CPS, we barely get updates and no sign of a date for a decision.

I feel so upset and annoyed for DD. She's doing well but having this hanging over her without even the promise of him being charged is just draining. Any plans for holidays etc. risk being cancelled if we do eventually get a court date, she's doing GCSEs at the moment and while I really want the twat to go to court I'm worried about the impact that will have on her studies.

The final straw is that CPS have requested social services records for DD (there's nothing much in there, a couple of visits when she was little and I was very ill but no ongoing involvement at any point) before they'll decided if they go ahead. It's just pissed me off so much. Like they're judging her rather than looking at what actually happened. I don't even know what they'd be looking for - if we had had SS involved would they be less likely to charge him? what difference does it actually bloody make?

I know it's a complex process getting someone to court but still, I'm so frustrated by it all.

I'm not really looking for any responses (unless someone owns a magic wand?) I just needed to share my annoyance. There aren't really many people I can talk to about it in real life as DD wanted it kept private until we know what's happening.

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CogitOIOIO · 03/12/2014 13:16

'The wheels of justice grind slow but exceedingly fine'.... Have you tried being a real nuisance, demanding updates, camping out on the police doorstep, that kind of thing? I find that being polite & waiting to be noticed often gets you nowhere

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Mandatorymongoose · 03/12/2014 13:38

No camping out just yet. It's more the CPS causing an issue than the police and I'm not sure they'd take much notice? I do have a lovely tent but it's getting rather chilly at nights.

The police have been a bit crap, very nice but the officer in charge of the case disappeared completely for 2 months (training course and holidays) and no one else seemed to know what was going on. I did complain about that.

They just apologise and say there's nothing they can do, backlog of cases, continuing investigation blah blah blah.

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fairypond · 03/12/2014 13:39

I remember you OP, how disappointing. There seem to be rather a lot of threads where people have such high hopes of the law providing justice. It is very upsetting to see how rarely this actually happens.

Best wishes to your daughter, she deserves better.

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IrishBloodEnglishHeart · 03/12/2014 13:40

I remember your thread. What the boy did was horrible and I am guessing he has denied all charges and is out on bail which must be a horrible prospect.

I am not an expert on these things but perhaps CPS have requested the records to ensure that they case they bring is as strong as it can be. It won't be a judgement on you. Hopefully someone who knows better will come along and explain why the SS file is relevant.

You were both very strong in bringing this to the police in the first place and these things do take time. I agree with Cog that the squeaky wheel gets the oil so maybe give that a go and get on the phone. Do you have an assigned officer to contact re your case you can chase up?

Also, if you are worried about our daughter, is there any counselling available to her as a result of this. As she approaches her GCSEs she might want to take advantage of that.

Stay strong. What he did was appalling your poor DD didn't deserve it.

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IrishBloodEnglishHeart · 03/12/2014 13:40

your daughter not our

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Mandatorymongoose · 03/12/2014 13:53

DD has contact with a lady from the SARC and has an open offer of counselling either there or at her school. She's not taken it up (she did have one session to discuss it) but knows the option is there.

He is still on bail. DD saw him for the first time a couple of weeks ago, she was on the bus with her friends and he was also on it. Her friends stop was before hers but she got off with them so she didn't end up alone with him in the bus (obviously they weren't the only people on the bus but you know what I mean) and got a lift home from her friends mum. It was very sensible of her but it's sad she had to do that. His bail conditions state he's not allowed to contact her but I'm not sure if maybe he should have got off the bus in that situation? I told the police about it but they just said DD did the right thing.