I'm new but have read one or two postings regarding mid life depression. I appear to have found myself in exactly this situation. DH appears to be in the throes of some sort of crisis. I was aware work had been weighing him down, but he seemed to be coping - sometimes grumpy/short, nothing major. He's always been v easy going, laid back. The last year has turned into a nightmare, he has been verbally aggressive to me in public on a few occasions (after drinking), in the summer told me he no longer loved me, had felt like this for over 3 years (or even longer), he deserves better. He has virtually no social life, so I am sure there has not been a physical affair but I feel convinced had the opportunity presented itself...
We had a few counselling sessions, but he was reluctant to attend jointly. The sessions he attended alone, he gave me 'misinformation', saying the counsellor had said our relationship was the cause of his depression or it was my 'issues' that needed addressing - & were the root of any problems. The counsellor has said this was not correct, but mentally I feel so low that he wants/is hurting me.
I feel clueless that I did not realise what was happening. A member of his family has since said they thought he had a small nervous breakdown before I met him (?!) & that they knew work was an issue for a year or so.. I had a bad end to last year after my father's death & now feel once I needed his help & was unable to keep it together the whole house of cards has come tumbling down.
I don't know what to do, our children have seen their parents transform into 2 people who are just keeping their heads above water. Emotionally I'm on my knees, the shock of rejection from someone I haven't doubted during this difficult year. I don't know whether I should stay or go, he's oblivious to the children (in the main - I have been at home whilst they were young) I keep crying all over the place & when not busy dwell on the last few years trying to pinpoint what signs I missed. He says he will go to the G.P or back to counselling but doesn't, he won't see a solicitor (thought might shock him into 'trying') as he says he doesn't want to separate, so I feel we are stuck going in circles.
Any ideas anybody? Thanks for your time
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Mid life crisis or depression?
6 replies
AiryFairy9 · 16/11/2014 18:25
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