I had a 6 casual relationship/fling with someone that ended at the beginning of the year. In hindsight it was a very unhealthy relationship. But, he was the hottest guy I've ever been with and it was literally like pure sexual chemistry (no substance or anything) every time I saw him. All I wanted to do when with him/apart was rip his clothes off etc....I'm sure you catch the drift.
Now I'm back to dating and I'm worried that this sexual chemistry, that I experienced for the first time at the age of 30, is going to stop me meeting a 'keeper'.
I had a similar very sexually intense relationship for about 3 years on and off, I kept trying to break it off but it was too much temptation.
I actually moved countries so got away from him and I'm now very happily married with 2 DS.
I used to worry about my comparability with my now DH as although fantastic I've never felt the same sexual chemistry with him but I have so much more on so many other levels that makes it a complete and fulfilling relationship.
I finally came to the conclusion that it was purely sex with the previous guy, you just have to try and remember that there is more to life than amazing sex and although you may not find it at first with a new partner it will develop with time.
I've recently stopped sleeping with someone who was sexually "perfect" for me. We spent six months of not being able to get enough of each other. We had a temporary hiatus and I panicked, thinking I'd never meet anyone with similar chemistry again.
We soon resumed but I realised my heart wasn't in it - we weren't suited in any way but the sex, so it seemed pointless. When I realised that, I stopped enjoying the sex and soon stopped the relationship. Now I'd much rather meet someone who I got on fantastically with, with whom I could see some kind of future.
Thanks ladies. I'm Glad I'm not the only to have experienced it. It was literally just about going for dinner and having lots of amazing sex. We had both got through a break up and so did use each other for a bit of support but it was live for the moment. Towards the end it was unfulfilling and the feeling of him being a drug made my friends start to worry.
With my previous ex the sex was brilliant at first but then my ex pretty much lost any drive at all. I never thought it was unhealthy though.
You've given me hope. Since being single I've met men off OLD and got on well but not had the "I want you right now" feeling so I've stopped it there.
I read a good quote today (O'Barr and Harding fwiw)- essentially; adolescents have sex in search of meaning. Sex within a marriage is meaning in search of behaviour. Ignore "adolescent" and "marriage" and replace them with the appropriate terms and you have it. Sex can be very hot, very passionate, physically pleasurable...in the ling run you won't find meaning in it without the right person, though.
And whoopseefuckingdoo obviously if you have both. I would hold out for that! Or close to that, anyway. Depends how important it is to you, of course. Bottom line; it ain't the be all and end all but it might be closer to it for some than others
What I think intensified it was that i was attracted to him being extremely successful and having a nice car and taking me to lovely restaurants. I know that sounds shallow but it exposed me to a 'world' and feelings I'd never experienced before. And I had never felt desired before and I liked it.
Ironically, it was harder to get over him over a six month 'relationship' than it was my 10 year long relationship with my ex!
Plantsandflowers it's interesting you saying that. I don't look at my ex's Facebook, I don't care what he's up to. But with Mr sex I look at his profile every few weeks and whilst I still think he's hot I don't feel attracted to him and what we had seems like something I imagined as it couldn't possibly have been real as he's a stranger to me now.