Talk

Flip

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Has anyone forgiven their Abusers?

4 replies

superstarheartbreaker · 20/10/2014 07:35

Because I can't forgive mine. Not sure I ever will. I always have this sense that my life would have been much better had he not got his claws in. I no longer feel so angry but the devastation at the time was awful. It ended 15 years ago and have just finished emdr.

Thoughts please .

OP posts:

Report

beansontoast77 · 20/10/2014 07:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IUsedToUseMyHands · 20/10/2014 09:24

chumplady.com/?s=Forgive&submit=Search

Report

GoatsDoRoam · 20/10/2014 10:35

It no longer has a hold on me. I am peace with it: no longer feel pain, have learned lessons from it, and learned how to cope with the effects (or even transform some of them into positive new beliefs and behaviours). I accept that my abuser was no better than he was able to be.

But the process to get there was long and painful.

I don't know if that is "forgiving", but it's a place of peace and that's all I need.

Report

Diagonally · 20/10/2014 16:55

What do you envisage forgiveness would bring you?

If it's indifference, you don't need to feel forgiveness to achieve that.

Report

Flip

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.