I'm sorry to share too much on a public forum but I don't know where to turn. Can anybody help me or offer a few words of advice?
My ten year marriage broke down completely a year ago after I checked out during an emotional turned sexual affair that lasted 2 years. It was my fault entirely and my dh was a loving, kind man who would have done anything for me. The end of the affair was mutual but messy and I told dh only to ease my own guilt and anxiety which had taken me counselling after contemplating suicide at what I had done to my relationship and dh. No thoughts to spare his feelings.
He has happily moved on into a new serious relationship which is extremely painful but helps somewhat to ease the pain that he is happy, although despite this I still send him begging messages to come back to me. He responds very amicably to tell me it's over and to move on. We have no dc and I am now 41 so there is no chance for me - another thing that makes me so sad.
Half my friends have been disgusted at my behaviour and cut all ties or our relationships have altered because I have increasingly isolated myself from them. The affair has destroyed me as a person. I was outgoing, sociable and fun and now i'm just empty inside.
It is a year and 4 months now and I just feel i'm sinking deeper rather then getting better. I keep busy and have a busy job but I can't concentrate. Some days I feel positive but others I could drive my car off the road on my commute to work very easily. Has anybody been here? Is there a way back? I've done CBT and read self help.
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Going down black hole after my affair - please help
18 replies
sosad2 · 19/07/2014 00:11
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