I am a regular who has NC and is posting on behalf of a friend who very much needs help & advice from the vipers. Please do read, I have seen some of the fantastic help and advice given on the Relationships board, and it is very much needed now. I am sending a link to my friend so she can read this post, which is written with her consent
Three years ago my friend married a man from Turkey. They are both in their 20s and have one baby DC.
H started being physically violent 2 months before their wedding, but it was intermittent at first, and has been steadily getting worse ever since. It happens a couple of times a month now. He is also very manipulative and controlling, for instance, one of the recent attacks was prompted when my friend declared her intention of taking the DC to playgroup that morning. He said she wasn't, she said she was, he then hit her and gave her a black eye. She didn't go.
The violence is usually in response to my friend challenging/disagreeing with something he says. He is also a lazy bastard who does not lift a finger in the house and has no interest in her child- he has never changed a nappy or entertained the baby for more than 10 minutes at a time.
He has UK residency, a job etc. They live in a council house, the tenancy is in my friend's name.
Today things escalated. His phone buzzed, and my friend saw that it was a notification from a dating website. She confronted her husband, who told her it had been set up by his friend as a joke, and he thought it was similar to FB.
During the course of this argument, he punched my friend in the teeth.
Obviously my friend needs to leave this absolute bastard. However she is scared, not only that he may get violent, but also he has frequently threatened to take their baby back to Turkey so my friend will never see her again. She has not gone to the police. She has phoned Women's Aid and they gave her an appointment at one of their centres, but she did not go. It is hard for her to get out of the house as her husband works shifts and is often home during the day, and even when he is away, I think it has got to the point where it is hard for her to get herself out.
She doesn't have any money to consult a lawyer at the minute and find out ways and means to protect herself and her DC, also to prevent her husband fulfilling his threats re: abduction.
I know a lot of MN members have gone through similar and know a lot about these sort of circumstances, so I was really, really hoping for some help and advice- and even failing that, just a bit of encouragement. She needs to know that her situation is awful and she should get out of it ASAP.
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Relationships
Need advise re: being punched in the face and threatened child abduction
28 replies
Helpingafriend · 25/06/2014 19:34
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