In my 50s. Where do I meet men?

[LeftistheNewRight]

Any ideas besides OD?

In my 50s and in good nick, intelligent, funny, solvent.

Where do I meet men for dating, friendship etc.

[Benchmark]

I'm not in my 50's but thought I'd reply and bump! Are you into any unisex hobbies? I play badminton and there's couples who have met later in life there.

[Sulis]

Dance classes?

[thecatneuterer]

I second dance classes. There are all ages in salsa classes and clubs and it's a huge scene (well it is in London anyway - out in the sticks probably not so much).

[Walkacrossthesand]

Wish I knew, newright

[KurriKurri]

I don't know - but I'm in exactly the same situation, so will watch your thread with interest :)

Logic tells me that the best way would be to join a club or interest group to meet like minded people. I have also considered going on interest related holiday - like walking holidays where you are in a group of people.

I'm not frantic for a partner (I've just got rid of a very nasty one!) but I wouldlike some male companionship and someone to go out with in the evening and at weekends.

[WitchWay]

Hiking clubs?

[MadeMan]

Hardware shops like BandQ, Topps Tiles, Wickes, maybe gardening centres?

[shakinstevenslovechild]

A friend of mine runs a book club, the majority of those who attend are in the 45-65 age range and it's pretty busy now. There are slightly more women than men, but not by a huge amount. She says it's more like a social club than a book club now. Would setting up a group like that be of interest to you?

[still30inmyhead]

I'll also watch this thread with interest... I may be still 30 in my head but actually I'm in my early 50s and in the same boat.

I was widowed a couple of years ago after spending over 30 years with my husband. The last few years were terrible as he died of alcoholic liver disease and my children and I suffered as we watched him destroy himself.

Then to my surprise I fell quickly into a relationship with an old friend I hadn't seen for many years - this restored my faith in men as he treated me very well and we had a lot of fun. However he suddenly ended it 2 months ago out of the blue and I am now left wondering what to do next. I am badly missing the companionship and physical affection he gave me and know that I don't want to be alone for ever. I am financially secure and have lots of married female friends and plenty of interests but I do desire someone to share things with.

Online dating looks very scary and I haven't dated a stranger since I was 20 - how on earth do you do this at this stage in life?

[glastocat]

I work with a woman in her fifties who is on a dating site and has at least three or four dates a week, I have no idea how she has the energy! She is really fussy and dumps them for the smallest transgressions, but she chats to four or five men at a time and just moves on to the next one.

[thornrose]

Try local Meet up groups, it's not dating, it's about friendship but it gets you out and about with like minded people and you'd be more likely to meet guys.

[SecretWitch]

My sixty something friend has met many nice men whilst out walking her dog. I am married and not yet fifty but get chatted up a bit by older gentlemen at my gym.

[flatbellyfella]

How about looking on Dadsnet.

[Egghead68]

I am 45 and only get any interest from men in their 60s to 80s (who hold no appeal for me). You may have to be prepared to date someone quite a bit older than you.

[Darkesteyes]

Im nearly 41 and it wouldn't bother me. I prefer older men anyway. Less likely to expect me to shave my pubes... and haven't grown up looking at internet porn. And I love having intelligent conversations with ppl who have lived through the changes in social history.

[BuzzardBird]

Good point darkest

[storynanny]

I met my partner 10 years ago in our late 40's at jive classes.
I second the walking as well, my friend ( happily married so not actually taking anything further than just chat!) has met loads of people out walking her new dog. Rambling groups sound good as well. If I were on my own now I am not sure I could be brave enough to try the Online Dating scene, especially after reading a thread today about a 44 yr old who turned up for first date on a skateboard!

[Darkesteyes]

Internet dating would hold no appeal for me either. I prefer doing social things as they were done pre internet. People managed beforehand.

[still30inmyhead]

Yes thanks thornrose for the suggestion of MeetUp groups - there are quite a few of these in the city where I live and I have gone along to some events. Full of other single women however and usually the same suspects turn up in different groups! But they are good for getting you out and about - I have been to a magic show, photo exhibition and a food tasting event which were all interesting.

Don't really know how to approach the online dating thing - it sounds as though people do a lot of online chat before meeting up and I would be worried that it was all a waste of time as I don't think you can really assess someone until you meet them in real life!

Ideally I'd rather find someone through existing friends as this would feel less risky - but of course all the decent men are already taken... My married friends don't really know what to do with me now that I am a widow and a spare part.

[RockinD]

BY never refusing an invitation, however unpromising it may sound

BY getting involved in your local community

BY pursuing YOUR interests

I met DH (both in our late 40s) when we were both involved in a campaign against demolition of some historic buildings in the area where we both lived. We subsequently found that we knew a lot of people in common and my friend's DH's best mate was actually his cousin, but we had never met.

[ElaineMcDougalled]

Lots of good ideas here. Think its just a case of getting out there and doing things, having a life and not getting too obsessed about finding a man.

[Spickle]

still30inmyhead your story is a replica of mine. However, I have met someone online after many "so so" dates. There will be someone out there for you and leftisthenewright. There are some good suggestions here with interest/hobby groups as well as OD. OD isn't all that bad, I think you have to give it a chance, there are nice people there but not always. Some people are nothing like their profiles or have omitted to tell you some vital piece of information and some have a lot of baggage or perhaps there is no "spark" between you. Also not everyone on OD wants a serious relationship or to find their soulmate. It was true that quite a few older men would "wink" at me (which held no appeal whatsoever), but my DP is 4 years younger so they are not all after someone young enough to be their daughter!

[still30inmyhead]

Spickle, thanks for the encouragement! I think I will just have to give OD a go - along with trying other groups.

Elaine - it's not an obsession about finding a man but when your "norm" is to share your life and home with someone (even if that relationship is troubled) then the transition to living alone is very difficult.

I'm probably finding the loneliness even more of a challenge now that I have had another relationship since my husband died - although we didn't live together we had daily contact and I miss having someone who wanted to hear about my day. My parents and siblings were totally unsupportive of me when my husband's alcoholism was creating havoc so there is little contact between us now and I don't feel it right to burden my grownup children with my neediness as they have their own lives to live. But at 53 I feel that I have a lot of my own life left and I'd much rather share it with someone!

[springydaffs]

I am married and not yet fifty but get chatted up a bit by older gentlemen

That means precisely zero - I am chatted up by men all the time. Married men.

btw older men aren't necessarily gentlemen. Just saying.

completely doesn't answer OP

[Thetallesttower]

There are walking groups for single and unattached people, the opportunity is there to both meet men and to make nice female friends that way, so even if you don't meet the love of your life, you can meet other people wanting to make friends and have a social life.