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The award for eejit of the day goes to me <sigh>

(8 Posts)
barrytown Thu 03-Apr-14 18:23:32

This is a NC but I'm a regular - taking it up the Oxo Tower, Center Parcs etc.

I am in my early 40s and Online Dating.
I've been out on quite a few dates and haven't met anyone I liked until 6 weeks ago.

But he's a mess really, over-sensitive, up and down.
Today he finished with me, I should have just said ok and run like the wind
Instead I talked him in to taking me back.

And now it's the evening, I'm home from work, I've realised that although I do really like him I should just have let him go.
He isn't going to sort himself out in the forseeable.

Being middle aged and single is shite, OD is a minefield, almost everyone I know is happily coupled up.
I think I just needed to get this out there really.

Joy5 Thu 03-Apr-14 18:51:53

Didn't want to run and not post.

Except you're not middle aged yet, i'm ten years older, single for the first time since i've been in my teens, know just what you mean about it seems almost everyone is coupled up.

My marriage ended 2 years ago, for the first year i was seriously depressed but since then i've totally got a new life. Have gone back to uni, am doing volunteer work, helping with a local charity, making so many new friends and doing so many new things. I never would have chosen to end my marriage, but it happened and i'm never going to dependent on another man again. If i ever meet someone it will be fantastic to be in a relationship again, but i'm determined to be indendent so i can never be treated as badly as i have.

Hope you make the right choice for you about your current partner, and sending you a hug, its a horrible place to be in feeling down and on your own. smile

Nomama Thu 03-Apr-14 19:46:07

So throw him over. Just dump him. Massage his ego, tell him he was right and goodbye!

Enjoy some one night stands or something equally young and irresponsible. Find out who you are again, swear off men until you find a proper use for one, like a DIY project you just can't be arsed with!


itwillgetbettersoon Thu 03-Apr-14 19:54:07

I'm the same as Joy, first time single since my late teens and now very late 40s. Marriage finished two years ago as a result of OW and STBXH being a knob! I'm not out to get in a serious relationship - I've got young kids so I'm not looking for a daddy for them. I'm out to have fun, take up lots of new hobbies, spoil my kids, make new friends, travel etc. it is hard at first but does get better. Don't be scared to be on your own and therefore put up with a tosser.

lavenderhoney Thu 03-Apr-14 20:56:13

Tell him you made a mistake and he is right, and you're sorry to have messed him about. Then forget about him. You have yourself to worry about!

Early 40's isn't old btw. And just because people are together doesn't mean they are happy. You're being very hard on yourself, op.

lovingmatleave Thu 03-Apr-14 21:52:27

Just wanted to say many of my friends are same age and are not happily coupled up and few of them ever have been. Think you need to drop him and move on. Agee with lavender coupled up doesn't always mean happy.
My single friends do have a moan about being single, but to me there is so much opportunity in this world (see other posts above)that being coupled, with work, children, school, trudgery drudgery of everyday family life that aren't open to me (well at least at the moment), that I am sometimes jealous of their life.

The grass is not always greener!

DumbleDee Thu 03-Apr-14 21:53:59

Don't do it!! You know now that it's not quite right, it's unlikely to get any better and the longer it goes on you will get more emotionally involved and less rational. Move on chuck.

barrytown Thu 03-Apr-14 22:28:20

I will move on, thanks for replying.
I know the grass isn't always greener.

My career is established and I'm happy with it, my DCs are older and doing their own thing and good for them!
It's difficult to know what to do with my time.

My marriage broke down a couple of years ago in particularly tragic circumstances.
Like everyone I suppose I thought I would be with someone (him) forever, the fact it's so difficult to find someone really smarts sometimes.

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