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Relationships

opinions does he like me

28 replies

jesy · 23/03/2014 11:55

Ok it may sound daft but need peeps opinions
Spent two nights this week with a gorgeous fit man he taken me out for food and then the other night it was drinks n takeaway.
He holds my hand in front of his mate's , we kiss in public , comfy enough to tease each other despite me not wanting to do a sex position he understood especially after I explained why.
He is encouraging me to eat and exercise as he knows I'm unhappy with my weight
We have a between us joke
Is it a case of to good to be true.

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akaWisey · 23/03/2014 12:00

After two nights? You've had sex already? You have a laugh and a joke.

I'd say he that's what he likes based on what you've said.

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jesy · 23/03/2014 12:02

We met a month ago
Had sex on date three which it was my idea as initial I said I was t ready.
The sex is amazing I've o my had a few partners but this was amazing.

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akaWisey · 23/03/2014 12:06

Well, just go with it. At this stage it's a casual thing to him I should think. Don't get your hopes up OP, sounds like a FWB thing to me. Sorry.

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hashtagwhatever · 23/03/2014 12:09

Bit to early to tell I would say, a month is no time at all

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jesy · 23/03/2014 12:18

I thought Fwb was just sex not spending time together.
As an after thought he said wish he'd known I wasn't working on Friday as I could have gone shopping with him n had lunch

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hashtagwhatever · 23/03/2014 13:14

Just sex is just sex. Fwb is friends who have sex.
Just see how it all goes.

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jesy · 23/03/2014 15:46

I don't think we know each other well enough to be classes as friends

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Pippilangstrompe · 23/03/2014 16:11

Why don't you ask him?

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jesy · 23/03/2014 18:19

I'm scared of the answer

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hashtagwhatever · 23/03/2014 18:24

Don't ask him. Just relax see what happens if it is to new to be classed as friends well then its definitely too new to be anything else.

Take it for what it is, you like each other and have a laugh together. Its a good start.

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jesy · 24/03/2014 18:35

Well he texted and asked if I wanted to stay at his tomorrow night.
I've said yes it's just to watch telly , he knows that sex isn't on menu and said happy to cuddle

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VoyageDeVerity · 24/03/2014 18:41

I don't understand. He asked you over for a date, you have had sex with him 3 times already and you told him over the phone you won't be having sex with him?

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jesy · 24/03/2014 18:46

Only coz I have my period which he is aware of as Saturday morning he was kind enough to go to shops to buy towels for me !

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VoyageDeVerity · 24/03/2014 18:50

Oh ok sorry I didn't understand.

I think he sounds like he really likes you! Go for it OP.

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mcmooncup · 24/03/2014 18:53

How old are you?

Explain why you can't ask? If you are having sex with someone and want it to be monogamous. Say it.
Will save heartache later on if he's not coming from the same place.

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jesy · 24/03/2014 18:55

I'm in my 30s I haven't had many bf n don't want to push him as I r e ally like him.

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Benzalkonium · 24/03/2014 20:55

Asking him if he is interested in a serious relationship is not quite the same as asking him if he is serious about you.

However I d
Suggest that if you don't have the relaxed, close feeling with him that you can discuss your relationship, then discussing stuff is going to become more of a problem for you.

Do you think you like him more than he likes you? How much more? If there is an imbalance you will get hurt.

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mcmooncup · 24/03/2014 21:07

Saying you would like monogamy is not pushing him.

It is what you clearly want from a relationship. THere is no right or wrong, just what you want and where your boundaries lie. If he doesn't want that, that is also entirely his decision.

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jaffacakesallround · 24/03/2014 22:57

Sorry but all of this makes me cringe.
You boyfriend of a few dates buys your sanitary pads? Why did he need to do that? Weren't you organised to buy your own ( or carry some in your handbag just in case?)

You do sound very young.....but maybe it's the inexperience coming over.

Look- this is going to sound patronising and I don't mean it that way, but you seem to be thinking that by having sex you will keep him and you sound on the back foot all the time- ie- he's ok about you refusing a certain 'position' ( sexual), you feel the need to explain that you can't have sex due to your period and seem surprised that he is still ok about seeing you. You need to come onto a forum and ask if he likes you....

all these things show you are insecure and already feeling unsure about what he feels.

Usually our instincts are right: if you think he's not serious then you are probably right.

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ThefutureMrsTatum · 24/03/2014 23:06

Did he have to cross the bridge to get the san pro?

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yourehavingalaugh · 24/03/2014 23:43

Yes it's odd when you are in your thirties to say on the phone I will come over but only to watch the television.

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jaffacakesallround · 25/03/2014 07:28

To answer your original question if you are still reading, then I don't think this relationship sounds healthy.
He likes you enough to have sex with you but he's not exactly making much effort if by date 4 or 5 all he can offer is a night at his having sex- or TV as it turns out because of your period.

You've set yourself up for a fall because you are already apologising to him that ' you can't have sex tonight' because you had a period.

Maybe I'm a prude but 4 or 5 dates into a relationship no man would even know I was having a period let alone send him out to get me san pads! Was that to show he had some special kind of 'intimacy' with you? Hmm

As for this 'comfy enough to tease each other even though I won't do a sex position' - FGS get some self respect! You seem to have set the bar incredibly low with regard to how you expect men to treat you.

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superstarheartbreaker · 25/03/2014 07:37

I think it sounds fine op. Just relax and see what happens. I dont get why othets think this is fwb.

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Cabrinha · 25/03/2014 07:45

So is this the friend of your ex (the ex from a while back who is your mate)? Or someone else?

Jesy, your posts just scream "how do I keep him happy", whoever you talk about. You need to be confident about you, your needs, and expressing those before you date.

Sometimes there are bloody big red flags waving and people can point those out, but this early on - pretty much no-one can say if he's into you or not. Hell, after 3 dates he's allowed to not know yet! So are you!

It sounds to me like you invest far too much, far too early.
Just take it more slowly.
I'm going to say don't have sex, as I do, early on. But I can see why it's a good idea to wait! But if you don't like a position, just say no - it's too early to be explaining why. I'm guessing an issue in a past relationship, and I don't think it's a good idea to show yourself as "vulnerable" so very quickly.
Same with the weight, really - a bloke you've seen a couple of times shouldn't really be your #1 weight loss supporter...
It just sounds like you make everything full on, too much too fast.

And you are scared of pushing them away... this guy, the Valentine with the other guy... You have to do what YOU want, and if it pushes them away, they are not right for you.

I has sex with my now boyfriend, and after a couple of meet ups just said "so are boyfriend / girlfriend then?". It really is that simple. If he'd wobbled on it, I'd have moved on. I'm fine with FWB in principle but it's not what I was looking for at this time in my life, or with him - so it would have been better to "scare him off".

You need to start expecting more.

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jaffacakesallround · 25/03/2014 08:10

Cabrinha I have NO idea of the OPs' dating history- though you do!- but looks like we are both saying the same thing.

OP- you don't need to explain to a guy why you don't want to do anything in bed. The fact that you seemed relieved he was 'okay' about it, speaks volumes.

You need to develop your self esteem and your self respect. if you behave as if you are grateful for any ounce of male attention or being treated with the bare minimum of courtesy by men, then don't be surprised if they treat you badly because that's how you are presenting yourself- as almost worthless of being treated well.

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