I've got some relatively minor MIL issues and just wondering if anyone has any suggestions how to deal with this sort of thing in a low key way - I'm not sure this merits a full on confrontation but I'd be interested in thoughts.
MIL (and FIL, but we don't interact so much) is fairly negative and I think a bit passive aggressive. She likes to make lighthearted put downs to, well basically everyone! It's not aimed at me, it's how the whole family interacts. DP (together 9 years, one DD, apologies if me calling them PIL annoys people since they aren't officially) used to be like this but I made it clear I wasn't keen and he's adjusted, though he slips back occasionally. It could be just their version of banter, but to my mind if it's not funny then it's not good enough for banter! Fine to make a funny joke, but a non-funny snide comment is just pointless. DP is the kindest, softest, loveliest man alive so the fact that he used to interact a bit like this just proves it's the whole family dynamic IMO. His brother and sister are like this too, but mostly in a witty was and can take as good as they give so that's fine.
Anyway examples of the sorts of comments:
I told MIL that we were going to start weaning DD when we visited them next weekend - I thought they'd appreciate being involved (watching). Her response - oh, do you finally think she's ready? (she's 5 months 2 weeks, 6 months by due date next saturday, and they were trying to get me to wean her at 3.5 months but I was very clear we were waiting till 6 months). I said 'yes, it's 6 months by due date so I'm happy to start, and she's been grabbing things off my plate and looking very hungry indeed'. MIL responded 'poor thing, you're not looking after her'. My reply 'given her weight I don't think anyone could accuse me of letting her go hungry!' MIL: 'oh, how big has she got now?' me: '22 1/2 lbs 10 days ago'.
This is typical - she makes a fairly small fry negative comment, I 'correct' her, and she comes back with more negative about my correction.
It sounds small when written down but I'm not used to it - my family are encouraging rto each other, so I'm wondering what the best way to handle it is. Or should I basically correct her when necessary and ignore it the rest of the time, which is what I currently do?
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Relationships
How to deal with MIL comments
KikiShack · 17/03/2014 10:12
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