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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Anyone ever been infatuated?

17 replies

breaking2bad · 06/03/2014 16:26

At the ripe old age of 31 I have experienced infatuation for the first time. It is/was with someone I'm in a FWB thing with. For months he consumed my thoughts and fantasies, not the I want to marry you and have your babies, but the I want to rip your clothes off kind of thing. Each time I met him it was like a fix, and it made me feel 'high'. The thought of not seeing him again made me depressed but then I just concentrated on the meeting someone new. This guy is now backpacking round Australia and has made little contact and to be honest I've not been thinking about him naked or ripping his clothes off for some time, so I know the infatuation effect is wearing off.

Has anyone else experienced this?

OP posts:

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fairylightsintheloft · 06/03/2014 17:05

oh yes, at least twice. Am having one right now (as in, at the moment,not RIGHT NOW IFYSWIM . If you are free and able to act on it bloody do..its great. Even the absolute biggest ones do wear off though (I know, I'm married to one of mine and he's lovely and everything but we're past the 'have to get naked right now stage'.)FWB I think are a fab idea if all parties are on the same page in terms of what is and is not on offer.

breaking2bad · 06/03/2014 20:22

Thanks fairy it has been great to act on it, but it's not something that's sustainable. He is hot and I want to rip his clothes off all the time I think of him, but in a relationship he'd drive me insane!

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somedizzywhore1804 · 06/03/2014 20:32

Yes- twice, and I can only compare it to a kind of madness to be honest.

I married the second one so it is calmed down and all okay now but I remember when we were first together it was a bit like a drug. When we weren't together it was like withdrawal.

The first one was worse really because it never became a "proper" day to day relationship so we were kid of obsessed with each other and the obsession never wore off.

You have my sympathy. It's not entirely pleasant.

Choccywoccydoo · 06/03/2014 21:04

Yes! So hard to get over if you never get to the day to day relationship stage. Massively addictive and makes it near impossible to think straight. Probably not very healthy in the long run... (I'll keep trying to convince myself of that one)

Interesting to hear that in those that do get to that stage it does wear off.

LineRunner · 06/03/2014 21:07

It is a good thing it wears off because it is bloody exhausting.

cheapskatemum · 06/03/2014 21:12

Please excuse my ignorance, what's FWB? I can't see it in the acronyms list & can't work it out.

scornedwoman67 · 06/03/2014 21:19

cheap its 'friends with benefits' x

cheapskatemum · 06/03/2014 21:26

D'oh yes, thanks!

breaking2bad · 06/03/2014 21:32

It's never got to a day to day stage an because we've only seen each other a couple of times a month it's like a build up.

It's like being a drug addict. It's made me feel irrational. It's not just how hot he is but him as a person, he is great company.

His travelling around oz and lack of contact has been a bit cold turkey and actually not been painful.

I think whilst I wish I haven't had these crazy urges meeting this man came when I was really down in the dumps following an awful breakup. He made me feel amazing about myself - something my ex never did.

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StarGazeyPond · 06/03/2014 22:29

Yes, someone much younger than me. Lasted a few weeks - and I felt a right prat when it all faded 'cos a lot of people knew about it

breaking2bad · 07/03/2014 20:17

Star - when I spoke about this guy to friends they could tell I was infatuated by how I spoke about him!

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KatieScarlett2833 · 07/03/2014 20:37

You've been dickmatized OP.
you lucky bitch

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay · 07/03/2014 20:46

Dickmatized !

breaking2bad · 07/03/2014 20:55

I just had to google it - it's a real thing! I certainly have. He has been the best sex I've ever experienced, but I knew it'd never last forever.

OP posts:

KatieScarlett2833 · 07/03/2014 20:58

I was once dickmatized too. God he was so sexy, couldn't keep my hands off him. Shame, he turned out to be an utter arsehole and had to be dumped.

fluffyraggies · 07/03/2014 21:04

Yep ... twice. First time was with XHs brother Never acted on it. Went on for years. I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual.

Second time - i married him! My lovely DH. Yes that stage is exhausting, the sex is amazing, and it can settle down into a meaningful love.

breaking2bad · 07/03/2014 21:11

Because of the connection and we got on so well I'd love to have given a relationship ago, except we live far apart (why we only met a couple of times a month). Plus he is very unreliable and I'm the complete opposite - on a daily basis it would drive me insane and no amount of amazing sex could make up for that!

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