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Feel like trash!

(15 Posts)
Guiltstricken Fri 28-Feb-14 23:21:57

To cut the long story short, I am 37 weeks pregnant and looking after a very hyper (yet lovely) toddler. I took him to pre school at 1 to pick him up for 4.. I usually use this time to rest but I decided to cook some lovely dinner for us all.

DH came home around 10 and warmed up his shepherds pie... ate three spoonfuls and threw it in the bin! He's just cooked his own dinner and is eating it as I type. I told him that my feelings have been hurt as I spent the afternoon cooking it for us and it was delicious.. but because it's 'English' and not 'Nigerian' he didn't even give it a chance.

I then said that I'm only cooking for DS and I since he doesn't like my food, to which he responded with "yeah good excuse for you not to cook".

What the heck is that? I've had enough, I really have.

LyndaCartersBigPants Fri 28-Feb-14 23:24:03

Just take care of yourself for now, surround yourself with friends and family who will take care of you if you have them and then once you are feeling strong enough you can tackle this twunt and his horrible attitude.

I would say LTB, but it's not great timing is it?! Will he take some time off to look after you all once the baby is here?

Topseyt Fri 28-Feb-14 23:26:56

He sounds like a selfish arsehole. I hope he gives you plenty of help when your new baby arrives - looking after the toddler, cooking all the meals, doing some housework and generally pulling his weight so that you can rest and recover.

Not holding my breath though. You have my sympathy.

Guiltstricken Fri 28-Feb-14 23:38:50

I live miles away from any of my family so I'm here alone with just DS.

I just got off the phone to my sister, she's cheered me up a bit.

LyndaCartersBigPants Fri 28-Feb-14 23:51:28

Could she come and stay for a bit to help you out when the baby arrives?

Benzalkonium Sat 01-Mar-14 01:00:15

If your partner is African, and used to African food, much as his timing is awful, and he has not been sensitive to the effort you put into the meal, I can understand him. I remember spending time in the far east where bread was not available. I never got used to having noodles for breakfast.

You need to have a chat about food....I really think shepherds pie is not at all appealing to some African palates.

talullah57 Sat 01-Mar-14 01:25:21

37 wks preg? Awful timing? Streuth I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than cook for a bloke who clearly isn't hungry. Fuck him, tell him to go.

bragmatic Sat 01-Mar-14 04:47:16

Does he often treat you badly?

Dinnaeknowshitfromclay Sat 01-Mar-14 05:06:18

I made a bread and butter pudding once for an ex that said he remembered it fondly from his childhood. I bought bread and giant saltanas and it was just brilliant. It rose like a soufflé and was a vanilla and eggy spicey wonder to behold. He threw it in the bin when he saw it as apparently it is 'the food of the poor' confused because traditionally it is made of leftover bread I suppose confused. I left. Maybe not now but I think you should consider it an option. He sounds deeply unpleasant.

Anomaly Sat 01-Mar-14 07:36:27

I think you need to really evaluate your relationship. I'm a terrible cook but now and again dabble the result is always a little unpredictable. My DH always tries to eat it and wouldn't dream of throwing it out.

Why did he throw it away you could have eaten it for lunch? You really need to tall to him. If you feel you can't then you need to reconsider your relationship.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 01-Mar-14 08:26:06

This isn't about food or cultural differences it's good-old fashioned misogynistic bullying! Sorry you're with such an arse OP. Suggest you don't tolerate it.

Lweji Sat 01-Mar-14 08:46:48

Regardless of what he thinks about English food, he was incredibly rude and unfair on you.
Do you always cook Nigerian?

I'd be telling him that he eats what I cook, he cooks for us, or he can go to his mum's to eat his food (permanently, and sleep there too).

Gettingmeback Sat 01-Mar-14 09:10:07

He's abusive and will likely become more so. This behaviour has nothing to do with his taste buds, good god! A respectful male who didn't enjoy what you cooked just eats it and hopes you realise it wasn't great. An abusive male huffs and puffs about it and makes you feel guilty, ashamed and a complete failure for your efforts, and it has nothing to do with whether or not what you cooked was any good. An arsehole is an arsehole in any culture.

ISeeYouShiverWithAntici Sat 01-Mar-14 09:15:05

What a crock of crap.
my husband is kenyan and he eats whatever is put in front of him and is grateful for someone choosing to cook a meal for him!
Your husbands choice to be so rude has got sweet fa to do with his tastebuds or culture. There is nothing about any culture in the world that permits or excuses being a twat. Thats down to the individual.

Offred Sat 01-Mar-14 09:25:25

Agree with others. Rude. Childish. Bully.

My bf is a terrible cook and a childish eater - averse to cheese, suspicious of lots of things, mainly eats just chicken and chocolate or tapas.

He got extremely excited about cooking for me once. He made the blandest and weirdest 'shepherds pie' with dry beef mince, carrots, no seasoning and sweet potato mash (no butter) on the top. I did not point out it was an attempt at cottage pie, I didn't point out that it was bland and dry and weird.

I ate it all and told him it was lovely and I was genuinely really grateful that he had made such an effort when he clearly is not used to cooking (lives with his parents and his ma usually cooks his tea - ha!)

Sometimes what matters isn't how something tastes to you, he loved his food, it wasn't to my taste, but the effort someone has made and he made a lot of effort for me. I really appreciated that!

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