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Relationships

Lifestyle pre-DC

5 replies

Frizzydisaster · 24/02/2014 08:12

What hobbies/activities did you and OH/DH/DW do (aside from in the bedroom!) pre-DC?

Am bored and can't figure out why. OH is wonderful and relationship works well... Should I just be happy and grateful for that?

He has a good job, friends etc. Doesn't generally take the lead in planning things/suggesting activities, but always happy to come along. Helps around the house without being asked.

Is rubbing along comfortably and sitting in front of the tv the norm?

I don't want someone who messes me around.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/02/2014 08:23

I was single before DC and single after. :) What did I do?... everything from socialising with friends to music/drama hobbies to travelling the world either for business or pleasure. When I was married prior to that we did the socialising and travel together but the music/drama was always something I did for myself and he had various sports that he enjoyed.

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Frizzydisaster · 24/02/2014 08:26

Maybe I should rephrase... Do you ever feel bored of your OH? Is this normal?

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 24/02/2014 08:34

I think it is reasonably normal if you're with someone 24/7. Partners don't exist to be entertainment, we love them for who they are. Wrong to expect them to change. However, if your different attitudes mean that you feel you're making all the effort or you're running out of things to talk about, then you're talking about an incompatibility that, if you don't resolve it successfully, can lead to resentment or worse. There has to be a connection between you and any differences have to be respected and loved or they drive a wedge eventually.

My parents are opposites. Dad is the steady bookish type that is quite happy with his own company pottering about doing whatever. Mum is gregarious and likes people. For fifty+ years she's moaned that he's dull .... Don't end up like them will you?

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gingerbeard · 24/02/2014 08:52

I was listening to the radio yesterday and heard someone talking about how they learn a new skill every year. Now he was talking about particle physics which probably isn't for everyone (!!!!!) but it's a good idea and even better if you have someone to learn with. Last year I learned to scuba dive - at a pool ten minutes from my house. Now am wondering about some sort of handicraft. Sadly my H is too busy at work to join in at the moment, but he does babysit the DC while I'm out. My point is, make your own life more interesting and you won't expect to get 100% of what you need from your partner. That's a rather a big ask of anyone.

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Frizzydisaster · 24/02/2014 09:41

Yeah maybe we should try something new together - I guess when you live together things do get a bit mundane, and it's not fair to lay the blame all on him! I don't always have that much to say/just sit and read/want to go to bed early. Sometimes I guess I miss a bit of drama!