So I've fucked up.
ExDP and I split in August, both living with parents, no kids.
He had been made redundant and was feeling down. I had what I now know is depression and anxiety. We had a petty argument and I ended it. He was so upset and I was being selfish. I ended it because I was sad in myself, he was the thing that kept me chugging along, he believed in me and was there for me 24/7 even though he was having his own problems and I was selfish.
Since we split he has still been there for me. He has a new job and is back to being the person I fell for.
When things are hard at home he picks me up and I stay at his house. I spend most evenings at his house and I spend most weekends at his house but we never have sex.
He has shown me nothing but kindness. Mutual friends have told me that he was sad after we split but he never had a bad word to say and always said kind things about me.
Last night I realised how much of a bitch I am. We were in bed. He was sleeping and he rolled over and cuddled me and kissed my head. I just started sobbing to myself. It woke him up and he got me water and tissues and just held me even though he has to be up early for work.
Since we split I had a short term relationship and have been on a couple of dates. It doesn't work because I love exDP and no one compares to him in my eyes.
I know we should get back together but I feel like I'm stopping it to punish myself even though it's what I want
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I'm an utter twat :( so long. Just rambling
11 replies
WhileWeSleep · 21/02/2014 07:31
OP posts:
Preciousbane ·
21/02/2014 08:00
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