About a year ago a married friend of mine had an affair with a married man. I didn't know about it at the time but found out when friend split with her husband after telling him about the affair.
She said she was compelled to tell her husband about it because, allegedly, the man with whom she had the affair was blackmailing her. She alleges that when she ended it he said would tell her husband unless she gave him money. She has also, in recent days, told me that when she ended it this man forced his way into her house and assaulted her.
The friend also contacted the guys wife to tell her about the affair and the alleged blackmail/assault. This man and his wife are still together and now, almost a year later, they are jointly pursuing/harrassing my friend and threatening to sue her for defamation as they say her allegations have spread and damaged his reputation. I don't think they can afford to do this though and its barking mad and I think they they know it because they are also saying that if she doesn't meet with them in order to prepare a written statement in which she retracts the allegations of blackmail which they will then make publicly available they will report her to the relevant authorities for a particular situation she is currently in, which if uncovered, would result in a major problem. Sorry to be vague but I couldn't get the name change thing to work.
We live in a relatively small town and so I asked around about this guy and have found two other people who have had a similar problem with him. They allege that he has stolen, from them, blackmailed them, slandered them and in one case physically assaulted them. The police have been involved, the guy has been arrested, charged but not taken to court due to lack of evidence. Apparently he instigated complaints about the police officers who arrested him once he was released.
The thing is this guy is extremely convincing, charming, erudite, talented, almost too good to be true when you meet him. He puts his own side of events very cogently and so it seems that he is wronged party. Yet, I am thinking this shit follows him around. The other people, my friend included don't have this level of drama in their lives. He seems to court it.
My friend has asked if I will meet him and reason with him but I suspect he is not the sort of person one can reason with. I have advised her also not to meet with them and certainly not to put anything in writing. I have also advised her to just contact the police as if he has previous they will be supportive. However, she is terrified that this will put her in the firing line (this thing he is threatening her with) and doesn't want to draw police attention.
Dear God it's a mess. I could really do with some mumsnet wisdom please.
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Friend being threatened by ex ...
12 replies
whatableedingmess · 19/02/2014 16:37
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