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Relationships

Should I end new relationship?

6 replies

Scaryfeet · 10/02/2014 00:31

Hello all

I wonder if someone could give me some advice. I'm 34, two teenage kids, last long term relationship ended over 2 years ago (not my kids father). I've been dating a man for a month. He's very nice, just what I've been looking for really. And although there was chemistry at first, it seems to have worn off. I don't miss him when I don't see him, I'm not excited to see him anymore, I'm not feeling much attraction (sometimes I do, most of the time I don't).

I've had relationships before and miss the intense feelings at the beginning. But I'm not sure if this means I'm just not into him, or holding back in some way? I've dating enough men over the last few years and the same thing happens every time, or if it doesn't it's because we didn't get past 2 dates because there was no attraction there to begin with.

I'm feeling like I really want to end this. I really love my life, but it does get lonely, I really want someone to share it with but I can't seem to get past these feelings. It's like the scene from Jerry Mcguire... If I can't make it with this guy, I can't make it with anyone. Should I give it more time? He wants to spend next weekend with me and I'm not looking forward to it at all.

OP posts:

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tallwivglasses · 10/02/2014 00:55

No. No more time needed. Life is short and he's not ringing your bells, he just got a bit closer than your other experiences, but meh.

A single life is better than this angst. Trust me :)

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wyrdyBird · 10/02/2014 00:59

He wants to spend next weekend with me and I'm not looking forward to it at all.

....this tells you all you need to know. You like him but aren't very interested in him.

You aren't holding back, I don't think. It's just that none of the men you've dated so far seem to be long term partner material.

I do sympathise. Keep looking...;)

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Sparklysilversequins · 10/02/2014 01:39

I relate to this. I get quite a lot of interest from men, asking for dates etc and it seems like a great idea, feel like I like them a lot, see them a couple of times and then honestly can't be bothered with the effort and let it peter out. Think I will be alone forever tbh.

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CogitoErgoSometimes · 10/02/2014 05:57

I think there might be conflicting things going on here - and I speak as someone who has been single for a long, long time. If you're independent and you really like your life then it is quite a sacrifice to include someone new in it, make compromises etc. They have to be special or it's not worth the bother. :) At the same time, it can get lonely and there is the temptation to want the next guy to be special.

If this one has fallen short it could simply mean that you're happy enough in your skin that you don't want to settle for something that isn't going to go anywhere. I wouldn't see that as a bad thing in the slightest.

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shey02 · 10/02/2014 10:52

It's just chemistry lacking, no extra time needed. Time for the gentle boot, you hardly know him, don't feel guilty.

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Scaryfeet · 10/02/2014 21:05

Thank you all for your advice. I did end it tonight and he was very nice about it, I don't feel I have any regrets right now. Apart from still being single! :)