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I treat my dp like a child, please help me stop!

(2 Posts)
Whitegrenache Fri 07-Feb-14 16:26:39

Obv you are all going to say YABU and i really want to stop but it seems the nagging and doing everything for him is the only way of getting through with him and getting stuff done!

However i think he is getting withdrawn and deliberatly not doing stuff to help me as he is sick of the nagging and he filters it out.

Does that make any sense?

we seem to have got into a cycle of behaviour between us and I need to stop it?

I have a very emotional, expressive personality and I like to talk, he on the otherhand is much more introvert, does not like to talk about stuff and I think he backs down to me to keep the peace iyswim?

We both work full time and have 2 dc aged 4 and 8 however my job has less demands on me and work from home on some days so tend to get housekeeping jobs done, whilst he is self employed and works extemely hard and his business is doing ok but he is struggling to pay much money into the household as he needs to pay other business bills. We lost £17k last year when a client failed to pay so financially that hit us like a brick... we mangage ,just, but I am paying the majority of the bills.

If I list all the jobs we contribute to the family the percentage is about 70% me to 30% him which is clearly imbalanced.

So not to drip feed, I suffer from anxiety and stress about how tidy the house and other stupid stuff....I do need to chill out I know...

So to summarise I nag him to do anything, bail him out financially and speak to him like shit at times blush I also fail to want to have sex with him. I think the lack of a sex life is making him hugely resentful of me as he thinks sex makes us closer.

I really dont want to spilt up with him but I need to find some middle ground so that the equality in the relationship is more balanced.

So no LTB please!

Please suugest any ways practical or emotional to help us communicate, we sit night after night in front of the TV on seperate sofas, what else can we do on an evening to become closer?

We had a huge row last night and its getting to breaking point, I have vomited all day and felt dreadful so the stress of it all is really getting to me. Please help sad

Thanks for those who got this far x

PassAFist Fri 07-Feb-14 16:29:29

I would introduce him to the idea of chore-play. He helps you out more around the house and as a result you find him much more attractive and want to have sex with him, and you end up feeling much closer as a couple.

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