I've been seeing a lovely man for around 6 months. We both have kids, mine live with me and usually stay the night at their dad's twice a week. Dp's live with their mum, and stay at his twice a week.
We live 1.5 hours away from each other and usually see each other for the two nights per week when my dcs are at their dad's, unless one or other of us are busy... We always have a great time together, and keep in touch between times with lots of texts and the occasional phone call.
The problem is I miss him too much when he isn't here. I hate when he has to leave. I love my life with my dcs, we are very settled where we are, lots of family and friends around...but really I would like to see more of my dp, wake up together more often. Dp can't move til his kids are grown, as he wouldn't be able to have them stay on school nights etc. and because of his work, which is fair enough and understandable. I would consider moving closer to him (not in with him), but not for at least a year, and even then i'm not sure i'd want to. I would need an extra reason I think, like a better paid job... don't want to uproot my kids for a man!
It's less than a year since stbxh left, so it is too soon for dp to spend a lot of time here with the dcs, staying over etc. although he has twice recently. I wasn't going to tell the dcs about him for a good long while, but they found out accidentally, so I introduced him properly and he stayed for tea and a sleepover twice, a month apart. The first time was fine, satisfied the dc's curiosity. The second time, not good, my eldest didn't want him around and made that very clear! So, for now, sleepovers when my dcs are here are out!
I guess i just want to know if anyone else has been in this position or if anyone has any ideas for how to feel less... alone?
I think I am missing the security of living with someone. We will not be in a position where we can live together for the foreseeable future, and i'm struggling to cope with that. Lately, whenever he leaves I feel bereft, and it is ridiculous!
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Relationships
long distance relationship and kids, struggling
17 replies
scoobydoonot · 06/02/2014 14:02
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