Had enough finding strength

[Parsley1234]

Background story exp separated 7 years one ds 10 exp was in music business and in recovery from drugs clean 12 years and is Asian. Was very ea which escalated when ds born I have always had my own business and property that I have worked for on my own which he has resented even though now he has a property portfolio of his own and to be honest has always resented me which is becoming more apparent. Have always tried to remain friendly have allowed access to him in my ds and my home as he lives 100 miles away, when we separated I asked for 50 percent of school fees nothing else and six years on money is always late or not atall he has spent Christmas here and all was fine until he got resentful about taking ds back to London with him as I was away for new year with dp. My post is really asking for strength in this situation I need to man up apply for child maintenance through correct channels I see CSa is not taking any new cases not let him into our home to stay and the other problem is that he is so negative about my new partner who I have been with for 3 years who has not met ds as distance is a factor and also ex p being abusive about dp. I feal very sad about the situation my son is a lovely boy who I fear is being torn in two how do I sort this out sorry if long x

[gigglestar]

I'm curious to know why you mention his race? How is that relevent?

[Parsley1234]

In my experiances it is relevant because of the way he has grown up treating women very much lesser than men as with his mum sister and now me. I'm not saying all Asian men are like that but this one is and I've given him a lot of slack because he's my sons father needs to stop .

[gigglestar]

There are lots of 'non-asian' men who behave that way too....bringing his race into it as a way of explaining his behaviour is disgusting and quite frankly racist.

[Parsley1234]

Ok I'm not racist sorry if its seen that way was just asking for some guidance and support no offence intended

[Lweji]

Oh, FGS, lots of people mention irrelevant details. Same as being in the music business. Are you musicist?

[Lweji]

Child Maintenance is now through the Child Maintenance Service. Look it up.

You can easily stop him from entering your home, and keep contact only via email and text.
Any harassment or threats you should report to the police. At the very least if they escalate.

Regarding your son, contact arrangements can be evaluated and changed accordingly. If he is adversely affecting your son, you can limit or stop contact. Get legal help and possible psychological assessment if you are worried.

[gigglestar]

Lweji- OP has already stated that she thought his race was pertinent to his sexist/misogynistic ways....

OP,i'm not saying you ARE racist,just that using someone's race as a way of explaining their behaviour is-in my opinion-racist. I know people who fit the 'white,christian,upper middle class' bracket and the males in that family all think that a woman's place is in the home,barefoot and pregnant,doing 'womens work'. They don't believe women are equal to men and they don't treat them with the equality and respect that they should.